It's time for all of us to move into the 21st century. Mobile Banking is the next big thing and it's here right now! It will be important for us to be familiar with it because this is the way more and more customers will be handling their banking. You don't wanna get left behind!
U.S. Bank's Mobile Wallet application is now available to anyone and everyone! A press release issued today says, "U.S. Bank Introduces Downloadable Mobile Banking Application." The article goes on to say that to "register for the Mobile Wallet or to view a current list of supported devices, U.S. Bank customers should visit usbank.com, log in to Internet Banking, and select Mobile Banking. The Mobile Wallet rounds out U.S. Bank’s selection of mobile banking offerings, which also includes text message account alerts and a mobile web site."
I downloaded the iPhone version and it works well. It doesn't look like I can use internet bill pay yet but hopefully that's coming soon! If you have an iPhone, Blackberry or any of the other supported devices it works on, you should definitely check it out. And, if you don't have a phone that supports the application it BUT you still have access to the internet through your cell phone, you can always use U.S. Bank's mobile web site at www.m.usbank.com.
The market was down today and so was U.S. Bank stock. I believe there are two reasons for this. 1. Barbra Streisand released a new album today. 2. The Angels clinched the West; keeping the Mariners from earning a World Series title once again. Investors are understandably depressed.
Stock Price
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Stock Market Update: Monday, September 28, 2009
As if Bank of America didn’t have enough trouble, some guy is suing them for "1,784 billion, trillion dollars!"
Here’s a few excerpts from the Reuters article:
And, as you would expect, BofA's stock was one of the bigger gainer's today. We didn't do too badly either!
Stock Price
Here’s a few excerpts from the Reuters article:
“Dalton Chiscolm is unhappy about Bank of America's customer service -- really, really unhappy.”
He has sued BofA and its board, “demanding that "1,784 billion, trillion dollars" be deposited into his account the next day. He also demanded an additional $200,164,000, court papers show.”
“It's larger than a sextillion dollars, or a 1 followed by 21 zeros. Chiscolm's request is equivalent to a 1 followed by 22 digits.
"He seems to be complaining that he placed a series of calls to the bank in New York and received inconsistent information from a 'Spanish woman,'" the judge wrote. "He apparently alleges that checks have been rejected because of incomplete routing numbers."
"’Incomprehensible,’ U.S. District Judge Denny Chin said in a brief order released Thursday in Manhattan federal court. Judge Chin gave Chiscolm until October 23 to better explain the basis for his claims, or else see his complaint dismissed.”
And, as you would expect, BofA's stock was one of the bigger gainer's today. We didn't do too badly either!
Stock Price
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Not Quite Like Daddy
Francis Schaeffer wrote books so intellectual and dense I could not even begin to read them. His son, Frank Schaeffer is pretty dang smart too but quite a bit more plain-spoken. You may or may not agree with him but what he has to say is certainly interesting.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Stock Market Update: Friday, September 25, 2009
You may have already heard about U.S. Bank's upcoming change in our overdraft policy, that was announced yesterday. This is easily one of the biggest changes in all my years of banking! In the event you somehow missed it, here's a summary:
* Eliminate overdraft fees when a customer’s account is overdrawn by less than $10, regardless of the number of overdraft transactions that may have occurred.
* Limit the number of overdraft fees to no more than three per day.
* Offer “opt out” ability to any customer who would prefer that we decline or return any transaction on their account, whenever possible, when they are presented against insufficient funds.
* Continue to offer free mobile, email and internet banking alerts to customers so that they can become more aware of their available balance and manage their spending accordingly.
* Provide new customers the ability to “opt in” to overdraft privileges with U.S. Bank. This choice allows customers to define how they prefer transactions to be handled by the bank when there are insufficient funds in their account.
* Establish an annual cap on the amount of overdraft fees that can be assessed on any single account at the bank.
In addition, U.S. Bank will conduct a full evaluation of “how best to handle the posting order of debit items and checks.”
So, how did the market react? Well, our stock was one of the few bank stocks I track that took a bit of a jump today!
And as an end of the week special treat, here's an interesting story I got from Ashleigh Martins at 29th & Willamette about one woman's encounter with Bank of America . . .
Two weeks ago, Ann Minch of Red Bluff, Calif. announced in a YouTube video that she'd launched a one-woman "Debtors' Revolt" and would refuse to pay off her credit card balance after an unfair interest-rate hike. Now, after her video made a huge splash, Bank of America has agreed to reduce her rate.
Minch said in a video posted Saturday that a Bank of America executive contacted her on Friday.
"He asked me to talk a little about my personal financial situation so we can negotiate some kind of agreement in regard to my existing credit card account," she said. The executive "tried to get me to agree to 16.99 percent and I said, 'No, nope, I believe because you guys are getting your money from the Fed at zero percent interest... that 12.99 percent is a more than generous profit margin for you guys.' So he did finally agree to that and he also agreed to send me that in writing."
Minch's first video has been viewed over 240,000 times. After the Huffington Post featured the 46-year-old stepmother of two in a story, she found herself inundated with media requests from the likes of NBC, CBS, Fox News and also a local reporter.
Minch said the Bank of America executive was very polite and didn't bring up her video, in which she called Bank of America executives "evil, thieving bastards."
So, the moral of the story is: A rolling stone gathers no moss. No, that's not it. A stitch in time saves nine. No . . . Yo momma's so fat that when she sits around the house she sits AROUND the house. Hmmm . . . You can fool some of the people some of the time but fool me twice and shame on me. Oh, wait, wait, wait! The squeeky wheel gets the grease!
Stock Price
* Eliminate overdraft fees when a customer’s account is overdrawn by less than $10, regardless of the number of overdraft transactions that may have occurred.
* Limit the number of overdraft fees to no more than three per day.
* Offer “opt out” ability to any customer who would prefer that we decline or return any transaction on their account, whenever possible, when they are presented against insufficient funds.
* Continue to offer free mobile, email and internet banking alerts to customers so that they can become more aware of their available balance and manage their spending accordingly.
* Provide new customers the ability to “opt in” to overdraft privileges with U.S. Bank. This choice allows customers to define how they prefer transactions to be handled by the bank when there are insufficient funds in their account.
* Establish an annual cap on the amount of overdraft fees that can be assessed on any single account at the bank.
In addition, U.S. Bank will conduct a full evaluation of “how best to handle the posting order of debit items and checks.”
So, how did the market react? Well, our stock was one of the few bank stocks I track that took a bit of a jump today!
And as an end of the week special treat, here's an interesting story I got from Ashleigh Martins at 29th & Willamette about one woman's encounter with Bank of America . . .
Two weeks ago, Ann Minch of Red Bluff, Calif. announced in a YouTube video that she'd launched a one-woman "Debtors' Revolt" and would refuse to pay off her credit card balance after an unfair interest-rate hike. Now, after her video made a huge splash, Bank of America has agreed to reduce her rate.
Minch said in a video posted Saturday that a Bank of America executive contacted her on Friday.
"He asked me to talk a little about my personal financial situation so we can negotiate some kind of agreement in regard to my existing credit card account," she said. The executive "tried to get me to agree to 16.99 percent and I said, 'No, nope, I believe because you guys are getting your money from the Fed at zero percent interest... that 12.99 percent is a more than generous profit margin for you guys.' So he did finally agree to that and he also agreed to send me that in writing."
Minch's first video has been viewed over 240,000 times. After the Huffington Post featured the 46-year-old stepmother of two in a story, she found herself inundated with media requests from the likes of NBC, CBS, Fox News and also a local reporter.
Minch said the Bank of America executive was very polite and didn't bring up her video, in which she called Bank of America executives "evil, thieving bastards."
So, the moral of the story is: A rolling stone gathers no moss. No, that's not it. A stitch in time saves nine. No . . . Yo momma's so fat that when she sits around the house she sits AROUND the house. Hmmm . . . You can fool some of the people some of the time but fool me twice and shame on me. Oh, wait, wait, wait! The squeeky wheel gets the grease!
Stock Price
The Social Event of the Year!
Why any of you read this stuff is beyond me but since I wanted to get some of my thoughts about Jeremy and Cassie’s wedding down on paper (or a Word document anyway) here are some of my favorite memories of the last week:
Wednesday, September 16th:
We played golf at Eagle Crest on Wednesday morning. Jake and Jerm extended their reputation as the two best trash talkers I know. Here are a few samplings (i.e. ones I could mention without fear of a final warning from HR!):
* Jake: Good gravy and biscuits!
* Jeff: One inch at a time. Jake: That should be your motto, Dad
* Peter: First to 100! I win $5! Drinks are on me suckas!
* Groundskeeper: is that kid in the red shirt a beginner? Jake: No, that's my Dad. He's been playing for years!
While we were playing golf, the bridesmaids went for a pedicure / manicure thing. We caught up with them at the fingernail / toenail styling salon place thingy. I do not understand what this is all about.
While there, we loaded some stuff into the back of Cassie’s SUV – which already had a keg of beer in it. When Jake started to close the rear hatch window, I quietly said, “Hey Jake, keep an eye on the keg.” I almost didn’t ‘cuz I thought he doesn’t need his old man nagging him. Turns out that in this case, he did. A rear window hitting a beer keg actually makes a pretty cool sound. On the other hand, the glass is a pain in the rear to clean up!
From there we went downtown to get something to have lunch. It was nice to hang out with others in the wedding party and get to know them a bit better. It was also when it first hit me how old I was compared to everyone else!
That evening Cassie’s parents hosted a great BBQ for the members of the wedding party and family. The keg of beer from the back of Cassie’s SUV was forgiven for busting out the rear window by providing some decent Deschutes Beer for the evening.
Thursday, September 17th:
In the morning we picked up our tuxes. Remember The Penguin on Batman? That’s pretty much me in a tux.
In the afternoon we decorated the church. I spent most of the time washing rocks and spraying them with Pam to make them shiny. Yup. They entrusted me with rock washing! When Elizabeth showed up, she apparently heard God telling her to take charge and became the de facto wedding coordinator. Although I’m not sure she made any new friends, she did help get things wrapped up and done for the day. (Let’s see now . . . is she more like her mother or more like her father? Hmmm . . .)
Toward the end of the afternoon I sent a text message to Jeremy (who was at his house getting some stuff done with Cassie) asking: “Are you at your house and, if so, is it okay if I come over to take a nap and change?” When I didn’t get an answer I checked my phone and realized it was BECAUSE I HAD SENT IT TO JENNY LEAVITT BY MISTAKE! Imagine her horror at getting a message from me asking if I could come over to take a nap and change! Sheesh! I am such a dork! BUT Jenny took it all in stride and responded with, “Well I should let my daughter know you’re coming over, I guess.”) I expect a call from her attorney any day.
Around 5:00 PM we had the wedding rehearsal. One couple walks down the aisle. The next couple has to wait until the first couple gets halfway down and then they start walking – arm in arm. And when you get to the front you split off and everyone goes to their corner. The whole thing is soooo complicated. Thankfully we did it twice, otherwise I may never have been able to master the skill involved! Walking out at the end is pretty much the same thing, except in our case it involved skipping out to some cute song from the Juno soundtrack. Except I didn’t skip. ‘Cuz I’m a penguin, right? We waddle.
Then, the moment I have been waiting for! We headed to the Deschutes Brewery Mountain Room for the rehearsal dinner! Beer, prime rib and salmon! What more could you ask for? Well, how about a GREAT view of the mountains. And beer. (Did I mention that already?)
When it came to the toast I kinda took a few liberties. First, it was more of a story time than a toast. I wanted everyone to know why I think Jerm is such a great guy and why I think he and Cassie are such a good fit. I also didn’t wanna be so sentimental that people would feel obligated to cry, so I interspersed some serious stuff in amongst the ridiculous stuff. Unfortunately, that strategy didn’t quite work. Some people cried anyway. Rather than give you the whole speech, here are some highlights:
* If we had followed the Ron Howard rule for naming our kids, Jeremy would have been: Jeremiah McKillop Milliron. (And if you want to know the rest of that story, you’ll have to ask.)
* We didn’t, so, in the end, he was named, Jeremiah Peter Milliron because Nancy said she had always liked the name “Peter.” (There is some reason to think she became a bit disillusioned with this name in later years.)
* Jeremy was born on November 25, 1986 and came home on Thanksgiving Day. My mother-in-law (the world’s greatest, by the way) got everything ready while I went to the hospital to pick up Mom and the new kid. We got home, put him in the bassinette and sat down to a great Thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat.
* In 1st grade Jeremy’s teacher told us that he was very quiet in class and that she could hardly ever get him to talk. I was certain she was confused.
* In grade school Jeremy always sought out the kids no one else wanted to play with. No big thing, he said he just played with them ‘cuz they were cool.
* I accidentally left out one story at this point. The one about how we got Jeremy to eat asparagus by telling him it would do something magical when he peed later.
* When Jeremy was 15, he and I spent Thanksgiving in Mexico City pouring concrete floors for different families with a group from Northwest Medical teams. Jeremy also spent a lot of time playing basketball with a group of kids we came to call the “Rat Tail Boys” because of the long braided string of hair down their backs. Once we destroyed the basketball hoop we went to the biggest Wal-Mart store I have ever seen to pick up and install a new one.
* Jeremy’s first love (until Cassie, anyway) has always been basketball. That’s where he got to know a couple of his groomsmen – Pat and Simon. Pat is dang funny but he’s also a sensitive and caring guy. Simon is someone Jeremy says had a bigger influence on him in high school than anyone else. Both are GREAT guys!
* Jeremy’s Best Man is his brother, Jake. They have always been very close. So close in fact that, when they were young they slept in the same bed together most nights. Even when we told them they couldn’t. One morning we woke to find them holding hands! (And took a picture of them so we could blackmail them into eternity!) When Jeremy turned 16 or so, we asked them to stop ‘cuz it was kinda getting creepy.
* Soon after I first met Cassie I thought, “She is just what Jeremy needs.” She not only taught him how to dress (sweatpants are NOT for very occasion!) but they also developed a respectful and caring way of talking with each other, even when they disagree.
After my life history of Jeremy, Cassie’s Dad, Jeff, made a toast. In it he said that when he first saw Jeremy coaching his basketball team he knew he would be a good strong husband for Cassie. As a Dad that made me feel pretty dang proud. For Jeremy it was nice to hear that someone sees a connection between his character as a coach and his character as a husband.
After the toasts were done, we hung out on the deck, smoking cigars and shooting the breeze. For me it was a great time to talk with a number of Jeremy’s friends. It was a dang cool night, at a dang cool place with dang cool people.
Jake and I stayed with Jeremy on his last night of freedom. For me the high point of the whole week was standing in Jeremy’s bathroom and talking until 3:00 AM, just reminiscing about all that has gone on over the years leading up to this day.
When we finally went to bed, I slept on the couch and Jake and Jerm shared a bed. Just like old times! (They claim they did not hold hands.)
Friday, September 18th:
Wedding day! At 9:30 all the groomsmen met at the Bond Street Barber Shop for hot lather shaves. None of us have ever had a shave by a barber before and it was kinda cool. Jim, the owner of the Bond Street Barber Shop, is a great guy and was our barber from the time the boys were in elementary school. PLUS, this is the only barber shop I know of that serves a complimentary glass of beer or wine (and Bloody Mary’s on Saturday) to its patrons.
At Noon the entire wedding party got together to begin the painful process of taking wedding pictures. That meant changing into my tux, which, in turn, marked the beginning of my 12 hours of hell! I did it ‘cuz I love Jerm and Cassie, but nothing makes me feel more claustrophobic than having to dress up! However, I did continue my tradition of not wearing socks at my kids wedding. (I have no idea why I ever thought this was a good idea.)
A cool thing Jerm and Cassie did was to arrange for a limo to take us around to various venues for the pictures. It was a fun way to get around and made things a bit easier. Not to mention there was champagne and Jack Daniels to help ease things as well.
We got lucky and finished with pictures with over an hour to spare. We decided the best thing to do was to go for sushi! It was great to be able to sit around the conveyor belt and relax for a while before the wedding began.
After sushi, there were some family wedding pictures to be taken. While the family members met at a home with one of the best looking back yards in Bend, the rest of the wedding party went on a special mission. Jeremy had asked a couple of guys on his basketball team to be ushers for the wedding. So, Jerm and Cassie sent the limo over to pick them up – along with all the bridesmaids! Imagine how cool it would be for a high school kid to have a limo pull up to their front door, have a bunch of hot older women jump out and escort you to the car. Yep. Pretty dang sweet!
We were at the church about an hour before the wedding. The bridal party was sequestered in a room (where I promptly took a nap) until the ceremony began. The wedding began promptly at 6:00 PM and lasted for about 15 minutes. For me, that was just about the perfect length of time. Get in and git ‘r done!
The high point of the wedding was when the pastor paused for what seemed like an eternity, before telling Jerm that he could “now kiss the bride.” He paused long enough that I heard Jerm whisper, “Hurry up!”
After the “Let me introduce, for the first time, Jeremy and Cassie Milliron,” that cute song from the movie Juno (that I can never remember the name of) started playing. As each bridesmaid / groomsmen exited they kinda danced / skipped down the aisle. With the exception of the father of the groom who was too dang self conscious to do any skipping and risk tripping.
We exited the church and got directly into the limo to ride over to the Bend Senior Center for the reception. I know what you’re thinking: “The Bend Senior Center? Could you have picked a less cool place?” Well, actually, the Bend Senior Center is pretty dang cool for an event like this. Plenty of room, nice facility, good places to hang out inside and out. It was a great choice for a reception
When the wedding party was introduced we entered to the music of some Backstreet Boys song that I cannot remember the name of. That meant we kinda had to dance into the hall. This time I pretended to dance but stayed at the back of the pack so no one could see me. ‘Cuz I’m just that cool.
There’s lots I could say about the reception but most of it was just a blur. Here are the things I remember most, however:
* I got to talk to a lot of folks but not nearly everyone I wanted to. Yeesh!
* I swear I filled my plate a couple of times but never really got to eat. And the food was GREAT too!
* The beer (home brewed by a friend of Jake and Jerm’s) was great! Especially the rye porter!
* My “cigar/whiskey bar” was popular, even though it didn’t get started until later in the evening. And my brother managed to avoid the temptation of smoking a cigar, thereby avoiding excommunication from the LDS church.
* And yes, there was dancing. And yes, I danced. And yes, I was horribly self conscious about my lack of dancing skills. However, it was pretty dang fun (once I got past my paranoia) and, more importantly, no one lost an eye.
* I avoided most of the clean-up by talking with a ton of folks after the reception ended. It was great to hear so many people say such nice things about Jeremy and Cassie. Makes an old man feel pretty dang proud.
There’s more I could tell but I’ve droned on waaaay to long already. It was very cool to be part of the wedding party – not something every parent gets a chance to do. It felt like I got an insider’s view on the whole thing. I feel very honored that Jerm asked me to be a groomsman.
Lastly, in spite of my frequent references to alcohol and other vices, I think I was sober at all times. I talk big but, in the end, I can nurse a beer for hours! There were no arrests (that I’m aware of) and, as I suspected, Cassie, Jerm and Cassie’s parents made sure it was a fun but dignified event.
Now if I could just remember where I put my socks . . .
Wednesday, September 16th:
We played golf at Eagle Crest on Wednesday morning. Jake and Jerm extended their reputation as the two best trash talkers I know. Here are a few samplings (i.e. ones I could mention without fear of a final warning from HR!):
* Jake: Good gravy and biscuits!
* Jeff: One inch at a time. Jake: That should be your motto, Dad
* Peter: First to 100! I win $5! Drinks are on me suckas!
* Groundskeeper: is that kid in the red shirt a beginner? Jake: No, that's my Dad. He's been playing for years!
While we were playing golf, the bridesmaids went for a pedicure / manicure thing. We caught up with them at the fingernail / toenail styling salon place thingy. I do not understand what this is all about.
While there, we loaded some stuff into the back of Cassie’s SUV – which already had a keg of beer in it. When Jake started to close the rear hatch window, I quietly said, “Hey Jake, keep an eye on the keg.” I almost didn’t ‘cuz I thought he doesn’t need his old man nagging him. Turns out that in this case, he did. A rear window hitting a beer keg actually makes a pretty cool sound. On the other hand, the glass is a pain in the rear to clean up!
From there we went downtown to get something to have lunch. It was nice to hang out with others in the wedding party and get to know them a bit better. It was also when it first hit me how old I was compared to everyone else!
That evening Cassie’s parents hosted a great BBQ for the members of the wedding party and family. The keg of beer from the back of Cassie’s SUV was forgiven for busting out the rear window by providing some decent Deschutes Beer for the evening.
Thursday, September 17th:
In the morning we picked up our tuxes. Remember The Penguin on Batman? That’s pretty much me in a tux.
In the afternoon we decorated the church. I spent most of the time washing rocks and spraying them with Pam to make them shiny. Yup. They entrusted me with rock washing! When Elizabeth showed up, she apparently heard God telling her to take charge and became the de facto wedding coordinator. Although I’m not sure she made any new friends, she did help get things wrapped up and done for the day. (Let’s see now . . . is she more like her mother or more like her father? Hmmm . . .)
Toward the end of the afternoon I sent a text message to Jeremy (who was at his house getting some stuff done with Cassie) asking: “Are you at your house and, if so, is it okay if I come over to take a nap and change?” When I didn’t get an answer I checked my phone and realized it was BECAUSE I HAD SENT IT TO JENNY LEAVITT BY MISTAKE! Imagine her horror at getting a message from me asking if I could come over to take a nap and change! Sheesh! I am such a dork! BUT Jenny took it all in stride and responded with, “Well I should let my daughter know you’re coming over, I guess.”) I expect a call from her attorney any day.
Around 5:00 PM we had the wedding rehearsal. One couple walks down the aisle. The next couple has to wait until the first couple gets halfway down and then they start walking – arm in arm. And when you get to the front you split off and everyone goes to their corner. The whole thing is soooo complicated. Thankfully we did it twice, otherwise I may never have been able to master the skill involved! Walking out at the end is pretty much the same thing, except in our case it involved skipping out to some cute song from the Juno soundtrack. Except I didn’t skip. ‘Cuz I’m a penguin, right? We waddle.
Then, the moment I have been waiting for! We headed to the Deschutes Brewery Mountain Room for the rehearsal dinner! Beer, prime rib and salmon! What more could you ask for? Well, how about a GREAT view of the mountains. And beer. (Did I mention that already?)
When it came to the toast I kinda took a few liberties. First, it was more of a story time than a toast. I wanted everyone to know why I think Jerm is such a great guy and why I think he and Cassie are such a good fit. I also didn’t wanna be so sentimental that people would feel obligated to cry, so I interspersed some serious stuff in amongst the ridiculous stuff. Unfortunately, that strategy didn’t quite work. Some people cried anyway. Rather than give you the whole speech, here are some highlights:
* If we had followed the Ron Howard rule for naming our kids, Jeremy would have been: Jeremiah McKillop Milliron. (And if you want to know the rest of that story, you’ll have to ask.)
* We didn’t, so, in the end, he was named, Jeremiah Peter Milliron because Nancy said she had always liked the name “Peter.” (There is some reason to think she became a bit disillusioned with this name in later years.)
* Jeremy was born on November 25, 1986 and came home on Thanksgiving Day. My mother-in-law (the world’s greatest, by the way) got everything ready while I went to the hospital to pick up Mom and the new kid. We got home, put him in the bassinette and sat down to a great Thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat.
* In 1st grade Jeremy’s teacher told us that he was very quiet in class and that she could hardly ever get him to talk. I was certain she was confused.
* In grade school Jeremy always sought out the kids no one else wanted to play with. No big thing, he said he just played with them ‘cuz they were cool.
* I accidentally left out one story at this point. The one about how we got Jeremy to eat asparagus by telling him it would do something magical when he peed later.
* When Jeremy was 15, he and I spent Thanksgiving in Mexico City pouring concrete floors for different families with a group from Northwest Medical teams. Jeremy also spent a lot of time playing basketball with a group of kids we came to call the “Rat Tail Boys” because of the long braided string of hair down their backs. Once we destroyed the basketball hoop we went to the biggest Wal-Mart store I have ever seen to pick up and install a new one.
* Jeremy’s first love (until Cassie, anyway) has always been basketball. That’s where he got to know a couple of his groomsmen – Pat and Simon. Pat is dang funny but he’s also a sensitive and caring guy. Simon is someone Jeremy says had a bigger influence on him in high school than anyone else. Both are GREAT guys!
* Jeremy’s Best Man is his brother, Jake. They have always been very close. So close in fact that, when they were young they slept in the same bed together most nights. Even when we told them they couldn’t. One morning we woke to find them holding hands! (And took a picture of them so we could blackmail them into eternity!) When Jeremy turned 16 or so, we asked them to stop ‘cuz it was kinda getting creepy.
* Soon after I first met Cassie I thought, “She is just what Jeremy needs.” She not only taught him how to dress (sweatpants are NOT for very occasion!) but they also developed a respectful and caring way of talking with each other, even when they disagree.
After my life history of Jeremy, Cassie’s Dad, Jeff, made a toast. In it he said that when he first saw Jeremy coaching his basketball team he knew he would be a good strong husband for Cassie. As a Dad that made me feel pretty dang proud. For Jeremy it was nice to hear that someone sees a connection between his character as a coach and his character as a husband.
After the toasts were done, we hung out on the deck, smoking cigars and shooting the breeze. For me it was a great time to talk with a number of Jeremy’s friends. It was a dang cool night, at a dang cool place with dang cool people.
Jake and I stayed with Jeremy on his last night of freedom. For me the high point of the whole week was standing in Jeremy’s bathroom and talking until 3:00 AM, just reminiscing about all that has gone on over the years leading up to this day.
When we finally went to bed, I slept on the couch and Jake and Jerm shared a bed. Just like old times! (They claim they did not hold hands.)
Friday, September 18th:
Wedding day! At 9:30 all the groomsmen met at the Bond Street Barber Shop for hot lather shaves. None of us have ever had a shave by a barber before and it was kinda cool. Jim, the owner of the Bond Street Barber Shop, is a great guy and was our barber from the time the boys were in elementary school. PLUS, this is the only barber shop I know of that serves a complimentary glass of beer or wine (and Bloody Mary’s on Saturday) to its patrons.
At Noon the entire wedding party got together to begin the painful process of taking wedding pictures. That meant changing into my tux, which, in turn, marked the beginning of my 12 hours of hell! I did it ‘cuz I love Jerm and Cassie, but nothing makes me feel more claustrophobic than having to dress up! However, I did continue my tradition of not wearing socks at my kids wedding. (I have no idea why I ever thought this was a good idea.)
A cool thing Jerm and Cassie did was to arrange for a limo to take us around to various venues for the pictures. It was a fun way to get around and made things a bit easier. Not to mention there was champagne and Jack Daniels to help ease things as well.
We got lucky and finished with pictures with over an hour to spare. We decided the best thing to do was to go for sushi! It was great to be able to sit around the conveyor belt and relax for a while before the wedding began.
After sushi, there were some family wedding pictures to be taken. While the family members met at a home with one of the best looking back yards in Bend, the rest of the wedding party went on a special mission. Jeremy had asked a couple of guys on his basketball team to be ushers for the wedding. So, Jerm and Cassie sent the limo over to pick them up – along with all the bridesmaids! Imagine how cool it would be for a high school kid to have a limo pull up to their front door, have a bunch of hot older women jump out and escort you to the car. Yep. Pretty dang sweet!
We were at the church about an hour before the wedding. The bridal party was sequestered in a room (where I promptly took a nap) until the ceremony began. The wedding began promptly at 6:00 PM and lasted for about 15 minutes. For me, that was just about the perfect length of time. Get in and git ‘r done!
The high point of the wedding was when the pastor paused for what seemed like an eternity, before telling Jerm that he could “now kiss the bride.” He paused long enough that I heard Jerm whisper, “Hurry up!”
After the “Let me introduce, for the first time, Jeremy and Cassie Milliron,” that cute song from the movie Juno (that I can never remember the name of) started playing. As each bridesmaid / groomsmen exited they kinda danced / skipped down the aisle. With the exception of the father of the groom who was too dang self conscious to do any skipping and risk tripping.
We exited the church and got directly into the limo to ride over to the Bend Senior Center for the reception. I know what you’re thinking: “The Bend Senior Center? Could you have picked a less cool place?” Well, actually, the Bend Senior Center is pretty dang cool for an event like this. Plenty of room, nice facility, good places to hang out inside and out. It was a great choice for a reception
When the wedding party was introduced we entered to the music of some Backstreet Boys song that I cannot remember the name of. That meant we kinda had to dance into the hall. This time I pretended to dance but stayed at the back of the pack so no one could see me. ‘Cuz I’m just that cool.
There’s lots I could say about the reception but most of it was just a blur. Here are the things I remember most, however:
* I got to talk to a lot of folks but not nearly everyone I wanted to. Yeesh!
* I swear I filled my plate a couple of times but never really got to eat. And the food was GREAT too!
* The beer (home brewed by a friend of Jake and Jerm’s) was great! Especially the rye porter!
* My “cigar/whiskey bar” was popular, even though it didn’t get started until later in the evening. And my brother managed to avoid the temptation of smoking a cigar, thereby avoiding excommunication from the LDS church.
* And yes, there was dancing. And yes, I danced. And yes, I was horribly self conscious about my lack of dancing skills. However, it was pretty dang fun (once I got past my paranoia) and, more importantly, no one lost an eye.
* I avoided most of the clean-up by talking with a ton of folks after the reception ended. It was great to hear so many people say such nice things about Jeremy and Cassie. Makes an old man feel pretty dang proud.
There’s more I could tell but I’ve droned on waaaay to long already. It was very cool to be part of the wedding party – not something every parent gets a chance to do. It felt like I got an insider’s view on the whole thing. I feel very honored that Jerm asked me to be a groomsman.
Lastly, in spite of my frequent references to alcohol and other vices, I think I was sober at all times. I talk big but, in the end, I can nurse a beer for hours! There were no arrests (that I’m aware of) and, as I suspected, Cassie, Jerm and Cassie’s parents made sure it was a fun but dignified event.
Now if I could just remember where I put my socks . . .
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Stock Market Update: Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wells Fargo jumped on the overdraft bandwagon yesterday announcing they “will eliminate overdraft fees for customers when they overdraw their accounts by $5 or less and will charge no more than four overdraft fees per day. In addition, Wells Fargo and Wachovia customers will be able to opt out of overdraft coverage, meaning customers can specify that they don’t want their transactions authorized into overdraft if funds aren’t available to cover the transaction.”
And the Wall Street Journal reported today that Barney Frank (Chair of the House Banking Committee) and Rep. Carolyn Maloney are “going to request that the implementation date for the rest of the Credit Card Act's rules be moved to December 1st of this year instead of February 2010.”
The reason for the change in date is because some companies are "jacking up their rates and doing other things to their customers in advance of the effective date."
According to The Consumerist, “If Congress does move up the implementation date, they say it should help shoppers feel better about holiday spending because they'll know exactly what the terms of their credit cards will be come January 1st. On the other hand, if this happens you can probably expect a new flurry of last-minute rate hikes and term modifications between now and Thanksgiving.”
Stock Price
And the Wall Street Journal reported today that Barney Frank (Chair of the House Banking Committee) and Rep. Carolyn Maloney are “going to request that the implementation date for the rest of the Credit Card Act's rules be moved to December 1st of this year instead of February 2010.”
The reason for the change in date is because some companies are "jacking up their rates and doing other things to their customers in advance of the effective date."
According to The Consumerist, “If Congress does move up the implementation date, they say it should help shoppers feel better about holiday spending because they'll know exactly what the terms of their credit cards will be come January 1st. On the other hand, if this happens you can probably expect a new flurry of last-minute rate hikes and term modifications between now and Thanksgiving.”
Stock Price
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Stock Market Update: Wednesday, September 23, 2009
There was an interesting article in Monday's Washington Post about potential legislation that would require banks "to get permission from customers, rather than allowing overdrafts automatically." In other words, customers would have to "opt in" to allow banks to pay items creating an overdraft and, if not, any items causing an OD would be rejected, thereby potentially limiting the amount of overdraft fees collected. Who knows if this legislation will pass both the House and Senate and/or how it might change along the way. However, U.S. Bank's executive management has been aware of this possibility and the potential impact on our fee revenue, so it's not an unexpected development.
Both JP Morgan Chase and Bank of America are trying to head things off at the pass with announcements yesterday that they will (according to a New York Times article) "drastically overhaul their debit card programs by lowering or eliminating fees, changing the way they credit transactions and allowing customers to opt out of overdraft protection." Chase is even planning to begin posting transactions chronologically, rather than from highest to lowest dollar amount, beginning sometime in the first quarter of 2010. (I wonder how U.S. Bank will respond?)
And how does the average American feel about it? The Consumerist took a pool and while the results are non-scientific poll, the response was pretty overwhelming: 96% of respondents think overdraft protection should be something customers should have to "opt-in" to get. (Until the first time they became overdrawn, anyway!)
And how did the market react to all this news? Bank stocks were all down today . . .
Stock Price
Both JP Morgan Chase and Bank of America are trying to head things off at the pass with announcements yesterday that they will (according to a New York Times article) "drastically overhaul their debit card programs by lowering or eliminating fees, changing the way they credit transactions and allowing customers to opt out of overdraft protection." Chase is even planning to begin posting transactions chronologically, rather than from highest to lowest dollar amount, beginning sometime in the first quarter of 2010. (I wonder how U.S. Bank will respond?)
And how does the average American feel about it? The Consumerist took a pool and while the results are non-scientific poll, the response was pretty overwhelming: 96% of respondents think overdraft protection should be something customers should have to "opt-in" to get. (Until the first time they became overdrawn, anyway!)
And how did the market react to all this news? Bank stocks were all down today . . .
Stock Price
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Stock Market Update: Tuesday, September 22, 2009
So, I've been gone for a week and no one really seemed to notice or care. You all managed just fine without me and I would have expected nothing less. My feelings aren't hurt because that just tells me I can skip out any time I want and no one will be the wiser. So I hope you enjoy this email sent to you from my new luxury home in Malibu that a friend of mine at Wells Fargo no longer seems to need.
And for those of you who have been around U.S. Bank a while, you may remember Daniel Yohannes, He was a long-time U.S. Bank executive in Colorado who left the bank a few years ago. Last Friday President Obama nominated Yohannes as the CEO of the Millennium Challenge Corporation (MCC). The Millennium Challenge Corporate is “an innovative approach to foreign assistance that delivers substantial new resources to a carefully selected group of poor countries to support development and poverty reduction.” The MCC was announced by President Bush in March 2002 as “a government corporation supervised by a Board of Directors composed of Cabinet level officers and representatives of civil society and the private sector.” If you are interested in finding out a bit more about Yohannes, who emigrated to the U.S. from Ethiopia at the age of seventeen with $150 in his pocket, check out this article for more information.
Stock Price
And for those of you who have been around U.S. Bank a while, you may remember Daniel Yohannes, He was a long-time U.S. Bank executive in Colorado who left the bank a few years ago. Last Friday President Obama nominated Yohannes as the CEO of the Millennium Challenge Corporation (MCC). The Millennium Challenge Corporate is “an innovative approach to foreign assistance that delivers substantial new resources to a carefully selected group of poor countries to support development and poverty reduction.” The MCC was announced by President Bush in March 2002 as “a government corporation supervised by a Board of Directors composed of Cabinet level officers and representatives of civil society and the private sector.” If you are interested in finding out a bit more about Yohannes, who emigrated to the U.S. from Ethiopia at the age of seventeen with $150 in his pocket, check out this article for more information.
Stock Price
Monday, September 21, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Stock Market Update: Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I'm heading out for a few days to be with my son, Jeremy and his soon-to-be-wife, Cassie, and won't be back until next Tuesday. Why should you care? Only because it means the flood of crap I post here should subside for a while. Feel free to use the extra time to do something productive!
In lieu of any kind of uninformed market analysis today, I give you a story from the NY Post - written as only the Post can - about a new type of scam that I think any self respecting guy should feel too embarrassed to ever report.
Stock Price
In lieu of any kind of uninformed market analysis today, I give you a story from the NY Post - written as only the Post can - about a new type of scam that I think any self respecting guy should feel too embarrassed to ever report.
A trio of sexy scammers ripped off dozens of single guys, picking them up at high-end nightclubs and pickpocketing their wallets and phones, cops said.
Often they took the men to ATMs and sidled up to them as they withdrew money, later using pinched bank cards and pilfered PIN codes to tap the victim's accounts. One hapless sap lost $5,000.
The seductive suspects lured in as many as 50 victims by offering to drive them home or to after-hour parties, according to police.
As they drove, they would slip their hands into the men's pockets and remove cash, cellphones and BlackBerrys.
The victims include an NYU professor and a powerhouse attorney.
The three women -- all in their 20s -- were busted Monday after allegedly swiping $1,600 from a lawyer they picked up near Lotus on West 14th Street.
Each has been charged with multiple counts of grand larceny and possession of stolen property.
"They knew just who to look for," said one detective. "Pretty much drunk guys looking to get from point A to point B. They're in a good mood and figure, 'Let me take a ride.'"
The lawyer, a highly paid private equity attorney who lives on Sutton Place, said he met the woman as he sat on a curb smoking a cigarette at 4 a.m. at 423 W. 14th St.
"They drove up in a car with the windows down and said, 'Let's go to a party. Would you like to come with us?' " he said.
He got into their car and they drove to an ATM machine so he could get money.
Two of the suspects, Tiffany Rasberry, 21, and Barbara Labady, 22, followed and watched as he punched in his number and withdrew cash, he said.
"They started touching me to distract me," he said. "I didn't realize what was happening."
After the group got back in the car, a third defendant, Subhanna Beyah, 21, pretended to feel sick, he said. When the lawyer got out to let her exit, the three drove off.
That's when he realized they'd snatched his ATM card.
Within 30 minutes, they'd withdrawn $1,600 from his account. He called the cops, who searched the area, spotted the women, and arrested them.
One detective said the women viewed the scams as an alternative to turning tricks.
"They saw this as something where they tried to clean up their acts," he said.
Stock Price
Monday, September 14, 2009
Stock Market Update: Monday, September 14, 2009
So the market is up 22 points today and U.S. Bank up 12 cents, closing at $21.98. Nothing dramatic but headed in the right direction.
It was a year ago this week that U.S. Bank hit it's high point for 2008, at $36.22 a share. It was downhill from that point until the first week of March when we hit our low point of $8.82 a share. The ups and down of the stock market seemed to affect all banks about the same during that period. However, once we turned the corner in March the market has seemed to recognize which banks are stronger than others. Not so much "guilt by association" as in the past. Some banks (JP Morgan Chase and Wells Fargo, for example) have rebounded a bit faster than us, while others (like Citibank and Bank of America) have not rebounded nearly as well. So, while we may not be at the top of the heap as far the recovery of our stock price, we still look pretty dang good.
Meanwhile in "A Penny For Your Thoughts AND Also Your Stock" news, Bank of the Cascades closed a bit lower at $1.11 - roughly 90% below where they were a year ago at this time.
Stock Price
It was a year ago this week that U.S. Bank hit it's high point for 2008, at $36.22 a share. It was downhill from that point until the first week of March when we hit our low point of $8.82 a share. The ups and down of the stock market seemed to affect all banks about the same during that period. However, once we turned the corner in March the market has seemed to recognize which banks are stronger than others. Not so much "guilt by association" as in the past. Some banks (JP Morgan Chase and Wells Fargo, for example) have rebounded a bit faster than us, while others (like Citibank and Bank of America) have not rebounded nearly as well. So, while we may not be at the top of the heap as far the recovery of our stock price, we still look pretty dang good.
Meanwhile in "A Penny For Your Thoughts AND Also Your Stock" news, Bank of the Cascades closed a bit lower at $1.11 - roughly 90% below where they were a year ago at this time.
Stock Price
Friday, September 11, 2009
You Get To Buy The Ticket, But You Don't Get To Go On The Ride
I don’t know about any of the rest of you who are lucky enough to be parents, but for me being a Dad has been the coolest thing in my whole life. I love my three kids (and their husbands / girlfriends / soon-to-be wives) and I really enjoy spending time with them. Part of the fun is the embarrassing stuff that happens along the way - and with me as your father, you know that’s gonna happen pretty regularly!
For example, just this last weekend I was with my daughter, Elizabeth. I had brought her a picture my Mom had given me of my grandmother with a young girl sitting in her lap.
I said, “My Mom gave me this picture of you and your great-grandmother that I thought you might like to have it.”
Elizabeth responded with the appropriate, “Ohhh, that’s so sweet!” but then said, “Uh, Dad, that’s not me!”
I took the picture back and said, “Yes, of course that’s you. It’s from when we went to Utah for my brother’s wedding, remember?”
Elizabeth took the picture back, looked at it again and then turned it over. On the back it read “Grandma and Amy – 1981.” Since Elizabeth was born in 1980 and her name isn’t Amy, I’m guessing it must be someone else in the picture.
OR there’s the time I was walking with Jake in Washington, D.C. when I was paying more attention to my iPhone than I was to where I was going. Out of nowhere, the sidewalk jumped up and grabbed the toe of my shoe, causing me to trip and fall to the pavement. The best part is that the cutest little puppy came up to see if I was okay. So there I am, an old man, laying on his back on the sidewalk, getting licked in the face by a puppy.
OR, even better, sometimes your kids think you are out of control, even when you’re not. Like the time Jake and Jeremy and I were walking back to Jake’s house in D.C. after a night of baseball and beer. I was walking between them and, on the spur of the moment, decided it might be fun to surprise them both by, uh, punching them in the, uh, well, you know. (Think squirrels!) To this day they both claim I was drunk - which I never am. I think the story is even better because I was sober.
But that’s not what I wanted to tell you about today. Something important is on the horizon and I’m certain it will provide us with even more stories to tell about each other.
Next Friday Jeremy is marrying his fiancé, Cassie (‘cuz marrying some random girl off the street is apparently frowned upon) in Bend. Because I will be taking time off to attend the wedding, I thought I’d give you a preview / prediction of the week’s events. This also will serve as a warning to my kids of what’s to come . . .
Tuesday, September 15th:
* After work Rudy and I will drive to Portland to pick up Jake and his girlfriend Rachel, who are flying in from Boston. (In case I forgot to mention it, Jake moved from D.C. to Boston over the summer because of his obsession with Jacoby Ellsbury of the Boston Red Sox.) As always, Rudy will do the majority of the driving while I sit in the passenger seat playing with my iPhone.
* From the airport, the four of us will drive over the mountain to Bend. We should get there around 1:00 AM or so - barring any stops I have to make so I can take a nap. This also will provide me with the opportunity to tell Rachel all sorts of embarrassing stories about Jake. Such as the time the parking brake on his Mustang popped and it rolled down the street into the neighbor’s garage OR when he smacked an umpire in the head with a baseball bat.
Wednesday, September 16th:
* The All Day Bachelor / Bachelorette Party starts in the morning with golf! I am a horrible – and I mean World Class horrible – golfer. BUT I love to play golf with Jake and Jeremy because they are the two best trash talkers I know. This should be especially fun with some of Jerm’s friends along to contribute.
* At the same time, the girls are going for like a pedicure / manicure thing. I’m certainly no expert on women (as future ex-wife and TRO expert, Erin Matthews can attest) but spending the day with someone messing around with my fingernails and toenails does not sound like fun in any way shape or form.
* In the evening Cassie and Jeremy are hosting a BBQ for the members of the wedding party. I suspect beer will be involved with this activity. This should be fun because many more embarrassing stories are likely to be told. And, uh, it’s likely that some, uh, inappropriate, squirrel-related, punching may also ensue.
Thursday, September 17th:
* In the morning we head out to pick up our tuxes for the wedding. Jerm asked me to be a groomsman, so there would be no chance I’d show up in jeans and a t-shirt.
* In the afternoon we get to spend time decorating the church. I suspect that after 20 minutes or so, they will ask me to stop trying to “help” and send me home.
* Around 5:00 PM is the wedding rehearsal. This involves the entire wedding party, the pastor and a woman who will be forever known as “Sarge” because of her role as the wedding coordinator. For the rest of us, our role will be to make Sarge’s job a living nightmare.
* After that, we head to the Deschutes Brewery Mountain Room for the rehearsal dinner! The Mountain Room is one of the coolest places in Bend for an event like this. Not only is it at an actual, live brewery but it’s on the top floor and has a GREAT view of the mountains. And beer.
* The high point of the evening – for me at least – will be the opportunity for me to “toast” the bride and groom. I’m thinking of going with something classy like, “Live long and prosper” or “May the Force be with you” or “Try not to get pregnant on your honeymoon.”
Friday, September 18th:
* Wedding day! Early in the afternoon we gather together for wedding pictures. This probably means we will have to wear the tuxes and crap for pretty much the whole dang day. I’ll do it, ‘cuz I love Jerm and Cassie, but nothing makes me feel more claustrophobic than having to dress up! However, I will rebel, just a bit, by not wearing socks. I got away with it at Elizabeth’s wedding and now I think it’s a tradition that must be honored.
* The wedding is at 6:00 PM. Some poor bridesmaid will have drawn the short straw and have to walk in with the fat father of the groom. (That’d be me.)
* Around 6:15 PM I expect I will start to feel exhausted from the days events and collapse at the front of the church.
* Once they get to the “I now pronounce you man and wife” part, then Cassie and Jerm will exit the church to a song they have specially chosen for this moment. Elizabeth and Jeremiah used the theme music from Raiders of the Lost Ark. I suggested they use “Say Hey, I Love You” by Michael Franti & Spearhead. “White Trash Wedding” by the Dixie Chicks might also be fun.
* Then it’s on to the reception! An old friend of Jake and Jerm’s is a brewer (whose brewery will be opening next spring). He has put together some special wedding brews just for Jerm and Cassie that I can’t wait to try. For the wusses in the group, there will also be wine. And for the Mormons (i.e. my family) there will be water or maybe Kool Aid.
* Jerm asked me to “host” a cigar bar at the reception as well. What this really means is that I bought a bunch of cigars and will be doling them out to his friends. This also means my mother is likely to see me smoking a cigar and will die on the spot.
* There will also be dancing at this fine event. Jeremy has received waaaaay to many recommendations for his reception play list. I sent him 30 – 40 ideas, none of which do I expect him to use. On the other hand, maybe Moon River by Andy Williams just isn’t as popular with young kids today as it used to be. It is also likely I will try to work up my courage to dance. For anyone who happens to be at the wedding this is your one and only warning to be sure and wear some kind of eye protection.
* After Jerm and Cassie sneak off to wherever they are spending the night before flying off to Cancun for their honeymoon, the rest of us get to clean up the mess. This will involve me avoiding any heavy lifting and pretty much taking 20 – 30 minutes moving a folding chair from one place to another before finally putting it back on the rack.
That’s pretty much it but lastly, let me just point out that in spite of my frequent references to alcohol, loud music and cigars, this will be a lot classier than it sounds. Cassie, Jerm and Cassie’s parents will be sure to make this a fun but dignified event. In spite of my best efforts to thwart them . . .
For example, just this last weekend I was with my daughter, Elizabeth. I had brought her a picture my Mom had given me of my grandmother with a young girl sitting in her lap.
I said, “My Mom gave me this picture of you and your great-grandmother that I thought you might like to have it.”
Elizabeth responded with the appropriate, “Ohhh, that’s so sweet!” but then said, “Uh, Dad, that’s not me!”
I took the picture back and said, “Yes, of course that’s you. It’s from when we went to Utah for my brother’s wedding, remember?”
Elizabeth took the picture back, looked at it again and then turned it over. On the back it read “Grandma and Amy – 1981.” Since Elizabeth was born in 1980 and her name isn’t Amy, I’m guessing it must be someone else in the picture.
OR there’s the time I was walking with Jake in Washington, D.C. when I was paying more attention to my iPhone than I was to where I was going. Out of nowhere, the sidewalk jumped up and grabbed the toe of my shoe, causing me to trip and fall to the pavement. The best part is that the cutest little puppy came up to see if I was okay. So there I am, an old man, laying on his back on the sidewalk, getting licked in the face by a puppy.
OR, even better, sometimes your kids think you are out of control, even when you’re not. Like the time Jake and Jeremy and I were walking back to Jake’s house in D.C. after a night of baseball and beer. I was walking between them and, on the spur of the moment, decided it might be fun to surprise them both by, uh, punching them in the, uh, well, you know. (Think squirrels!) To this day they both claim I was drunk - which I never am. I think the story is even better because I was sober.
But that’s not what I wanted to tell you about today. Something important is on the horizon and I’m certain it will provide us with even more stories to tell about each other.
Next Friday Jeremy is marrying his fiancé, Cassie (‘cuz marrying some random girl off the street is apparently frowned upon) in Bend. Because I will be taking time off to attend the wedding, I thought I’d give you a preview / prediction of the week’s events. This also will serve as a warning to my kids of what’s to come . . .
Tuesday, September 15th:
* After work Rudy and I will drive to Portland to pick up Jake and his girlfriend Rachel, who are flying in from Boston. (In case I forgot to mention it, Jake moved from D.C. to Boston over the summer because of his obsession with Jacoby Ellsbury of the Boston Red Sox.) As always, Rudy will do the majority of the driving while I sit in the passenger seat playing with my iPhone.
* From the airport, the four of us will drive over the mountain to Bend. We should get there around 1:00 AM or so - barring any stops I have to make so I can take a nap. This also will provide me with the opportunity to tell Rachel all sorts of embarrassing stories about Jake. Such as the time the parking brake on his Mustang popped and it rolled down the street into the neighbor’s garage OR when he smacked an umpire in the head with a baseball bat.
Wednesday, September 16th:
* The All Day Bachelor / Bachelorette Party starts in the morning with golf! I am a horrible – and I mean World Class horrible – golfer. BUT I love to play golf with Jake and Jeremy because they are the two best trash talkers I know. This should be especially fun with some of Jerm’s friends along to contribute.
* At the same time, the girls are going for like a pedicure / manicure thing. I’m certainly no expert on women (as future ex-wife and TRO expert, Erin Matthews can attest) but spending the day with someone messing around with my fingernails and toenails does not sound like fun in any way shape or form.
* In the evening Cassie and Jeremy are hosting a BBQ for the members of the wedding party. I suspect beer will be involved with this activity. This should be fun because many more embarrassing stories are likely to be told. And, uh, it’s likely that some, uh, inappropriate, squirrel-related, punching may also ensue.
Thursday, September 17th:
* In the morning we head out to pick up our tuxes for the wedding. Jerm asked me to be a groomsman, so there would be no chance I’d show up in jeans and a t-shirt.
* In the afternoon we get to spend time decorating the church. I suspect that after 20 minutes or so, they will ask me to stop trying to “help” and send me home.
* Around 5:00 PM is the wedding rehearsal. This involves the entire wedding party, the pastor and a woman who will be forever known as “Sarge” because of her role as the wedding coordinator. For the rest of us, our role will be to make Sarge’s job a living nightmare.
* After that, we head to the Deschutes Brewery Mountain Room for the rehearsal dinner! The Mountain Room is one of the coolest places in Bend for an event like this. Not only is it at an actual, live brewery but it’s on the top floor and has a GREAT view of the mountains. And beer.
* The high point of the evening – for me at least – will be the opportunity for me to “toast” the bride and groom. I’m thinking of going with something classy like, “Live long and prosper” or “May the Force be with you” or “Try not to get pregnant on your honeymoon.”
Friday, September 18th:
* Wedding day! Early in the afternoon we gather together for wedding pictures. This probably means we will have to wear the tuxes and crap for pretty much the whole dang day. I’ll do it, ‘cuz I love Jerm and Cassie, but nothing makes me feel more claustrophobic than having to dress up! However, I will rebel, just a bit, by not wearing socks. I got away with it at Elizabeth’s wedding and now I think it’s a tradition that must be honored.
* The wedding is at 6:00 PM. Some poor bridesmaid will have drawn the short straw and have to walk in with the fat father of the groom. (That’d be me.)
* Around 6:15 PM I expect I will start to feel exhausted from the days events and collapse at the front of the church.
* Once they get to the “I now pronounce you man and wife” part, then Cassie and Jerm will exit the church to a song they have specially chosen for this moment. Elizabeth and Jeremiah used the theme music from Raiders of the Lost Ark. I suggested they use “Say Hey, I Love You” by Michael Franti & Spearhead. “White Trash Wedding” by the Dixie Chicks might also be fun.
* Then it’s on to the reception! An old friend of Jake and Jerm’s is a brewer (whose brewery will be opening next spring). He has put together some special wedding brews just for Jerm and Cassie that I can’t wait to try. For the wusses in the group, there will also be wine. And for the Mormons (i.e. my family) there will be water or maybe Kool Aid.
* Jerm asked me to “host” a cigar bar at the reception as well. What this really means is that I bought a bunch of cigars and will be doling them out to his friends. This also means my mother is likely to see me smoking a cigar and will die on the spot.
* There will also be dancing at this fine event. Jeremy has received waaaaay to many recommendations for his reception play list. I sent him 30 – 40 ideas, none of which do I expect him to use. On the other hand, maybe Moon River by Andy Williams just isn’t as popular with young kids today as it used to be. It is also likely I will try to work up my courage to dance. For anyone who happens to be at the wedding this is your one and only warning to be sure and wear some kind of eye protection.
* After Jerm and Cassie sneak off to wherever they are spending the night before flying off to Cancun for their honeymoon, the rest of us get to clean up the mess. This will involve me avoiding any heavy lifting and pretty much taking 20 – 30 minutes moving a folding chair from one place to another before finally putting it back on the rack.
That’s pretty much it but lastly, let me just point out that in spite of my frequent references to alcohol, loud music and cigars, this will be a lot classier than it sounds. Cassie, Jerm and Cassie’s parents will be sure to make this a fun but dignified event. In spite of my best efforts to thwart them . . .
Stock Market Update: Friday, September 11, 2009
This is just about the best time of the year. College football is in full swing (now Legarrette Blount related pun intended) and the NFL season kicked off last night with the Steelers and that team from Tennessee whose name I can never remember. The baseball playoffs are just around the corner as well. PLUS, even though Big Brother is winding down for the summer (and future ex-wife Jordan will disappear forever), Survivor and The Amazing Race both start up in the next two weeks.
The excitement is apparently building on Wall Street as well, but investors have mixed emotions. U.S. Bank stock was up a bit today, while Bank of the Cascades slipped closer to "penny stock" territory. The Dow was down a bit as well. My guess is that everyone is so fixated on their fantasy teams they have no time to make a decisions about their portfolios. In any event, here are today's results!
Stock Price
The excitement is apparently building on Wall Street as well, but investors have mixed emotions. U.S. Bank stock was up a bit today, while Bank of the Cascades slipped closer to "penny stock" territory. The Dow was down a bit as well. My guess is that everyone is so fixated on their fantasy teams they have no time to make a decisions about their portfolios. In any event, here are today's results!
Stock Price
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Stock Market Update: Thursday, September 10, 2009
Once again the predictions were wrong and the world did not end. That means I am faced with the task of having to recover my buried gold bullion and reinvesting my vast wealth. (All $37.50 worth!) Fortunately the market responded positively to the lack of death and destruction with the Dow jumping up more than 80 points today. U.S. Bank stock, on the other hand, was down a whopping 3 cents - but that just plays into my "buy low / sell even lower" strategy!
So, until Hal "You Lie" Lindsey and Tim "You Lie And You're Really Old" LaHaye and Nostra "You Lie And Your Dead" Damus and Mayan "You Lie And It's Not 2012 Yet" Calendar can get their predictions straight, I guess I will leave my money in the market and let it ride for a while. Or at least until universal, public option, single payer health care coverage becomes available. Because we all know that will bring the economy to it's knees and that only illegal immigrant death panels will have health coverage. Or something like that.
Stock Price
So, until Hal "You Lie" Lindsey and Tim "You Lie And You're Really Old" LaHaye and Nostra "You Lie And Your Dead" Damus and Mayan "You Lie And It's Not 2012 Yet" Calendar can get their predictions straight, I guess I will leave my money in the market and let it ride for a while. Or at least until universal, public option, single payer health care coverage becomes available. Because we all know that will bring the economy to it's knees and that only illegal immigrant death panels will have health coverage. Or something like that.
Stock Price
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
"Public Option" In Less Than 60 Seconds
I've heard Robert Reich speak two different times and I think he does a great job of simplifying complicated ideas. Although this video is over two minutes long, all you need is the first 45 seconds to get the most important point.
Stock Market Update: Wednesday, September 9, 2009
So, it's 09/09/09 and tonight at 9:09:09 the world will end. I've really enjoyed getting to know all of you - well, most of you anyway - and will miss all the memories and the closeness of our relationships. (Or the lack of closeness, as the case maybe be.)
The market was up today, which is good news since I sold all my stock. I converted it all to gold bullion and buried the cache in the Alton Baker dog park, marked by a spot where my dog, Rudy, likes to relieve herself. I am leaving it there to be discovered by future generations. Should you (or your future mutant spawn) be fortunate enough to survive whatever cataclysmic disaster awaits us tonight, just head to the dog park and sniff around. As long as you can differentiate between Rudy's scent and those of the zillion other dogs who frequent that particular spot, you should be able to find it pretty easily.
And let me just add that I do not blame the end of the world on any astrological phenomena, numerology, Glen Beck or the fact that President Obama is giving a speech tonight trying to lure us into a totally socialistic society. (The first three are just stupid and the last one is just fine by a closet communist like me anyway.) I blame it on the release of The Beatles: Rock Band. If that isn't a sign of the Apocalypse, I don't know what is!
Stock Price
The market was up today, which is good news since I sold all my stock. I converted it all to gold bullion and buried the cache in the Alton Baker dog park, marked by a spot where my dog, Rudy, likes to relieve herself. I am leaving it there to be discovered by future generations. Should you (or your future mutant spawn) be fortunate enough to survive whatever cataclysmic disaster awaits us tonight, just head to the dog park and sniff around. As long as you can differentiate between Rudy's scent and those of the zillion other dogs who frequent that particular spot, you should be able to find it pretty easily.
And let me just add that I do not blame the end of the world on any astrological phenomena, numerology, Glen Beck or the fact that President Obama is giving a speech tonight trying to lure us into a totally socialistic society. (The first three are just stupid and the last one is just fine by a closet communist like me anyway.) I blame it on the release of The Beatles: Rock Band. If that isn't a sign of the Apocalypse, I don't know what is!
Stock Price
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The Three Word Movie Review!
After rambling on and on about some of my favorite movies last week, I came across a website that has a very simple formula for movie reviews. Here’s what they say about their approach:
"Who has time to read all those boring movie reviews with 'opinions?' Don’t you just want to know what the movie is all about—will you like it? For instance, Public Enemies is all about guns; now if you happen to like that sort of thing, well you get the idea…"
And here are a few examples of reviews you’ll find on that site:
* If you like The Golden Girls, then you will like Fried Green Tomatoes.
* If you like hair plugs, then you will like National Treasure.
* If you like Zach Braff’s self-indulgence, then you will like Garden State.
That got me to thinking about how I could simplify my reviews and came up with:
The Three Word Movie Review!
* All The President’s Men: Nixon’s. The. One.
* Batman - The Dark Night: Creepy. Bad. Make-up.
* Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid: Rob. Trains. Die.
* Casablanca: Get. Outta. Town.
* Chinatown: Sister. Daughter. Same.
* Cool Hand Luke: Failure. To. Communicate.
* Dirty Harry: Feel. Lucky. Punk?
* Forrest Gump: Peas. Carrots. Chocolates.
* Forty Year Old Virgin: My. Life. Story.
* Gone With The Wind: Scarlet. Spoiled. Brat.
* Iron Man: Flying. Robot. Guy.
* It’s A Wonderful Life: Angels. Get. Wings.
* Jaws: Need. Bigger. Boat.
* Lawrence of Arabia: Sand. More. Sand.
* Million Dollar Baby: Gut. Wrenching. Punch.
* Psycho: Don’t. Shower. Alone.
* Pulp Fiction: What’s. In. Briefcase?
* Raiders of the Lost Ark: Don’t. Open. It!
* Schindler’s List: Black. White. Red.
* Singin’ In The Rain: Sing. Dance. Repeat.
* Sophie’s Choice: Boy. Girl. Choose.
* Spiderman: Radioactive. Spiders. Rule.
* Star Wars – A New Hope: Luke. No. Father.
* Star Wars – Empire Strikes Back: I’m. Your. Father.
* Star Wars – Return of the Jedi: Father. Knows. Best.
* Superbad: Kids. Cops. Intoxicants.
* Terminator: Just. Keeps. Coming.
* That Thing You Do: One. Hit. Oneder
* The French Connection: Drives. Too. Fast.
* The Godfather: Offer. Can’t Refuse.
* The Hangover: Bachelor. Party. Hell.
* The Sixth Sense: Bruce. Willis. Dead.
* The Sound of Music: Nuns. Kids. Nazis.
* The Usual Suspects: Saw. It. Coming.
* There Will Be Blood: Oil. Blood. Milkshakes.
* Titanic: Watch. Out! Iceberg!
* Transformers: Megan. Fox. Toys.
* Transformers 2: Megan. Fox. Vertigo.
* West Side Story: Romeo. Juliet. Songs.
* Wizard of Oz: He’s. Behind. Curtain.
"Who has time to read all those boring movie reviews with 'opinions?' Don’t you just want to know what the movie is all about—will you like it? For instance, Public Enemies is all about guns; now if you happen to like that sort of thing, well you get the idea…"
And here are a few examples of reviews you’ll find on that site:
* If you like The Golden Girls, then you will like Fried Green Tomatoes.
* If you like hair plugs, then you will like National Treasure.
* If you like Zach Braff’s self-indulgence, then you will like Garden State.
That got me to thinking about how I could simplify my reviews and came up with:
The Three Word Movie Review!
* All The President’s Men: Nixon’s. The. One.
* Batman - The Dark Night: Creepy. Bad. Make-up.
* Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid: Rob. Trains. Die.
* Casablanca: Get. Outta. Town.
* Chinatown: Sister. Daughter. Same.
* Cool Hand Luke: Failure. To. Communicate.
* Dirty Harry: Feel. Lucky. Punk?
* Forrest Gump: Peas. Carrots. Chocolates.
* Forty Year Old Virgin: My. Life. Story.
* Gone With The Wind: Scarlet. Spoiled. Brat.
* Iron Man: Flying. Robot. Guy.
* It’s A Wonderful Life: Angels. Get. Wings.
* Jaws: Need. Bigger. Boat.
* Lawrence of Arabia: Sand. More. Sand.
* Million Dollar Baby: Gut. Wrenching. Punch.
* Psycho: Don’t. Shower. Alone.
* Pulp Fiction: What’s. In. Briefcase?
* Raiders of the Lost Ark: Don’t. Open. It!
* Schindler’s List: Black. White. Red.
* Singin’ In The Rain: Sing. Dance. Repeat.
* Sophie’s Choice: Boy. Girl. Choose.
* Spiderman: Radioactive. Spiders. Rule.
* Star Wars – A New Hope: Luke. No. Father.
* Star Wars – Empire Strikes Back: I’m. Your. Father.
* Star Wars – Return of the Jedi: Father. Knows. Best.
* Superbad: Kids. Cops. Intoxicants.
* Terminator: Just. Keeps. Coming.
* That Thing You Do: One. Hit. Oneder
* The French Connection: Drives. Too. Fast.
* The Godfather: Offer. Can’t Refuse.
* The Hangover: Bachelor. Party. Hell.
* The Sixth Sense: Bruce. Willis. Dead.
* The Sound of Music: Nuns. Kids. Nazis.
* The Usual Suspects: Saw. It. Coming.
* There Will Be Blood: Oil. Blood. Milkshakes.
* Titanic: Watch. Out! Iceberg!
* Transformers: Megan. Fox. Toys.
* Transformers 2: Megan. Fox. Vertigo.
* West Side Story: Romeo. Juliet. Songs.
* Wizard of Oz: He’s. Behind. Curtain.
Stock Market Update: Thursday, September 3, 2009
Well, today is the day. The day all of America has been waiting for. Yes, that's right, it's the first day of the 2009 college football season and fans everywhere are giddy with excitement for one game in particular. A game with national implications and a story line that is certain to capture the attention of every serious football fan. A game everyone is leaving work early for, so they won't have to miss a moment of coverage. Yes, that's right, I'm talking about South Carolina vs. North Carolina State at 4:00 PM on ESPN - and more importantly, in glorious high definition on ESPN HD! Why this game over that Ducks / Broncos game? Simple! This game has future ex-wife, Erin Andrews, providing her always stellar sideline reports! Does it get any better than this? I submit it does not!
In financial news, it was a pretty good day for just about every one of the bank stocks we track, except for three Oregon based banks: West Coast Bank, Columbia River Bank and perennial penny-stock candidate (say that three times real fast), Bank of the Cascades. Everyone else saw a bit of an increase today, except for these fine institutions. Working for the best bank in America: Priceless. Working for one of these other losers: Not so much.
(And yes, I realize the Erin Andrews link didn't really lead anywhere but I just couldn't help myself from jerking the chains of those of you who probably clicked on it as soon as they saw it!)
Stock Price
(Opinions expressed in the Stock Market Update certainly do not represent the views of U.S. Bancorp and sometimes not even Peter Milliron. Read at your own risk. Or not, as the case may be.)
In financial news, it was a pretty good day for just about every one of the bank stocks we track, except for three Oregon based banks: West Coast Bank, Columbia River Bank and perennial penny-stock candidate (say that three times real fast), Bank of the Cascades. Everyone else saw a bit of an increase today, except for these fine institutions. Working for the best bank in America: Priceless. Working for one of these other losers: Not so much.
(And yes, I realize the Erin Andrews link didn't really lead anywhere but I just couldn't help myself from jerking the chains of those of you who probably clicked on it as soon as they saw it!)
Stock Price
(Opinions expressed in the Stock Market Update certainly do not represent the views of U.S. Bancorp and sometimes not even Peter Milliron. Read at your own risk. Or not, as the case may be.)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Stock Market Update: Wednesday, September 2, 2009
As if requiring a thumbprint from a man with no arms weren't dumb enough, it turns out that a teller at Wachovia Bank (soon to be Wells Fargo) refused to accept checks for deposit because they were written with two different colors of ink! Yes, that's right. It might be fraudulent because the body of the check was in black ink and the signature was signed in blue ink.
But that's not what's behind the drop in our stock price today. Our performance over the past couple of days has been driven by serious concern regarding the anticipated performance of the Ducks in tomorrow's battle with the Boise State Smurfs. Fans and investors alike are worried that the Ducks may not be up to the task and that ESPN College Football analyst, Kirk Herbstreit, may be right: "The Ducks are the college football version of Paris Hilton. They’re famous for no reason, they look pretty and they got a rich daddy."
If only the Beavs were going up against Boise State. Victory would be assured.
And with that, let the trash-talking begin!
Stock Price
(Opinions expressed in the Stock Market Update certainly do not represent the views of U.S. Bancorp and sometimes not even Peter Milliron. Read at your own risk. Or not, as the case may be.)
But that's not what's behind the drop in our stock price today. Our performance over the past couple of days has been driven by serious concern regarding the anticipated performance of the Ducks in tomorrow's battle with the Boise State Smurfs. Fans and investors alike are worried that the Ducks may not be up to the task and that ESPN College Football analyst, Kirk Herbstreit, may be right: "The Ducks are the college football version of Paris Hilton. They’re famous for no reason, they look pretty and they got a rich daddy."
If only the Beavs were going up against Boise State. Victory would be assured.
And with that, let the trash-talking begin!
Stock Price
(Opinions expressed in the Stock Market Update certainly do not represent the views of U.S. Bancorp and sometimes not even Peter Milliron. Read at your own risk. Or not, as the case may be.)
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Stock Market Update: Tuesday, September 1, 2009
So, our good friends at Bank of the Cascades "entered into an agreement" yesterday with the FDIC and the Oregon Department of Finance, "
which requires the Bank to take certain measures to strengthen the Bank's financial condition and operations." I'm no analyst but I read that as: "We are desperate to avoid being taken over by the FDIC and we'll do just about anything, including sending out a press release that makes it sound like we're proud partners with government regulators!"I also love what their CEO, Patty Moss, says: "
As a community bank, our performance is directly tied to our local and regional economies and as such, we have been significantly impacted by the sharp and prolonged downturn in the economy and the Northwest housing market." I'm no analyst but I read that as: "It's not our fault that we got greedy and decided to go all in on the real estate market!"BUT, for me, the best part is buried way down in the press release when they brag about being named one of Oregon's "Most Admired Companies" in December 2008 as selected by other Oregon CEOs. I'm no analyst but I read that as: "We may be in trouble now but less than a year ago some people thought we were pretty cool." What it really shows is that most CEOs ain't worth as much as they think they are. (Present company excepted.)
However, that's not the big story today. The big story is that the market dropped by almost 200 points and our own stock dropped a whopping $1.38! As I have come to expect, there's no real explanation for the dramatic drop so I'm going with
this story as having cast the entire financial services industry in a negative light: "Bank Of America Asks Armless Man For Thumbprint."Stock Price
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