Bestest Ever

Because I don’t have a real life and because what little bit of life I do have revolves around ME, I find myself thinking about stuff like, “What’s the best movie / TV show / book / song / athlete ever? So, just for fun, without spending a lot of time thinking about my answers, here are some nominees in a few categories of “Peter Milliron’s ‘Best Ever’ Awards*”


BEST Written Song EVER
This award goes to the composer of a song that, regardless of the artist performing it, or the production values or other external factors, is just so amazing all by itself that you can’t help being moved emotionally by the song.
* Send in the Clowns – Steven Sondheim, composer
* Hallelujah – Leonard Cohen, composer
* Take Five – Dave Brubeck / Paul Desmond, composers
* Rhapsody in Blue – George Gershwin, composer
* Amazing Grace, John Newton, Composer

BEST Favorite Song EVER
This award goes to the artist whose version of a song is so cool or so catchy that I just LOVE IT, even if the song itself is really kinda dumb.
* Ain’t Going Down ‘Til The Sun Comes Up – Garth Brooks
* Money for Nothin’ – Dire Straits
* We Won’t Get Fooled Again – The Who
* Love Shack – B-52s
* In The House, Jurassic 5


BEST Made Movie EVER
This award goes to the director of a movie that, in my opinion, has put together an almost perfect movie. It may not by my favorite movie but it’d tough for anyone to argue that it’s not a GREAT movie.
* Shindler’s List – Steven Spielberg
* Citizien Kane – Orson Welles
* Million Dollar Baby – Clint Eastwood
* Mystic River – Clint Eastwood
* To Kill A Mockingbird, Robert Mulligan


BEST Favorite Movie EVER
This award goes to the movie that I think is just such a blast to watch that I can’t quit thinking about it. It just sticks with you and is worth watching again and again.
* Casablanca
* Princess Bride
* Thing You Do
* Star Wars – A New Hope
* Raiders of the Lost Ark


BEST Made TV Show EVER
This award goes to a TV Series that stands heads above others in terms of quality, mostly in terms of how well written and well produced it is.
* The West Wing
* St. Elsewhere
* Murder One
* Dexter
* Mad Men


BEST Favorite TV Show EVER
This award goes to the show that I just love watching no matter how cheesy it may be at times. More of an addiction than anything.
* Lost
* Survivor
* Seinfeld
* Sports Night
* Dexter


BEST Written Book EVER
This award goes to the author of a book that is so well written that I just was in awe as I read it.
* Lonesome Dove, Larry McMurtry
* East of Eden, John Steinbeck
* To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee
* What’s So Amazing About Grace, Philip Yancey
* The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, David Wroblewski


BEST Favorite Book EVER
This award goes to the author of a book that I think is just so much fun to read that you can’t put it down. Probably should be titled Best Guilty Pleasure Book Ever . . .
* The DaVinci Code, Dan Brown
* Presumed Innocent, Scott Turow
* Where the Red Fern Grows, Wilson Rawls
* Pandora’s Star, Peter F. Hamilton
* Lonesome Dove, Larry McMurtry


BEST All-Around Athlete EVER
This award goes to the individual athlete that I believe is not only impressive in his / her particular sport but is just an all around great person.
* Curt Shilling, Pitcher
* David Robinson, San Antonio Spurs - Basketball
* Joe Montana, Quarterback
* Dave Dravecky, Pitcher


BEST Sports Event EVER
This award goes to a moment in sports that just blew me away. Might be a single second of an event, or a game or a full series. Just something that never goes away . . .
* Kirk Gibson hitting a walk-off (or limp-off) home run in the 1988 World Series
* Portland Trail Blazers winning the 1977 NBA Championship
* The Boston Red Sox beating the Yankees and going on to with the World Series in 2004
* Franz Klammer’s run to win the gold medal in the downhill at the 1976 Olympics


* Nominees are subject to change without notice because I just did this off the top of my head and will probably think of eight or ten more nominees in each category over the next few years.

Non-Sportsmanlike Attitude

True Confession Time: I will go to my grave believing figure skating is a non-sport. So, imagine my frustration at getting sucked into Women's Figure Skating last night! I didn't actually watch all the performances - only 3 or 4, actually - but, in spite of my better judgement, I got hooked on a couple of the stories.

First, whatshername from Korea. Holy cow she has some pretty high expectations on her shoulders but she comes into the games as the favorite, so she must be pretty dang good. AND let me just say, that anyone who uses music from James Bond films is always gonna get my vote. Not that they let me vote, of course, but since it's not a sport anyway, why can't I vote? Just askin' . . .

And second, is there a better story at the Olympics than whatshername from Canada whose mother died on Sunday? Hearing Dan Jansen talk about what it was like to compete on the day his sister died helped put things in perspective. That made watching her skate even more dramatic. How hard must that have been? Wow!

So, now I'm hooked. And I hate myself for it. I'll be rooting for the Canadian whatshername and expect to continue to be impressed with the Korean whatshername.

In other news, Abe Vigoda is 89 today. Just thought you'd wanna know.

Winter Olympics - Early Observations

So, the Winter Olympics are in full swing and here are a couple of early observations:

1. I have added gold medal winner Hannah Kearney to my list of future ex-wives because she wore a Jacoby Ellsbury (Boston Red Sox outfielder and Madras Oregon native) t-shirt to the opening ceremony under her Olympic gear. This in spite of the fact that she competes in a judged event, which violates my "What Constitutes a Sport?" standards.

2. This may go down as the worst run Olympics ever. The Olympic flame thingy didn't work right at the opening ceremonies. Events have been delayed because of lack of snow. The zambonis at the speed skating oval ain't icing right - all three of them. And the luge course apparently should not be used by mere mortals.

3. NBC drives me nuts by holding off on broadcasting the big events until prime time. Not because I all too often find out the results before then BUT even when I don't, I can usually figure them out. For example, on Saturday, when they showed Apollo Anton Ohno's race before going out to the moguls event I knew it must have meant Ohno didn't get a gold medal and that future ex-wife Kearney had. Had Ohno gotten gold, that race would certainly have been the last thing of the night.

4. Lindsay Vonn is not unattractive. Or Gretchen Bleiler, for that matter. But that one figure skater with the clown eyebrows - yikes! (And for those of you more interested in male competitors, I invite you to submit your own observations because, based on my sexual orientation, I am unable to judge your team properly.)

I'm Not A Believer

Last week I rambled on about some things I believe. This week I thought I’d go the other direction. Here are a few things I DON’T believe . . .

* I don’t believe light beer is worth drinking. If that’s your best choice, go with water.

* I don’t believe we are alone in the universe

* I don’t believe anything is as addicting as Kentucky Fried Chicken.

* I don’t believe I really should have admitted that.

* I don’t believe battery operated dogs are really dogs at all.

* I don’t believe the NBA is worth watching.

* I don’t believe the world will end if terrorists are tried in the United States.

* I don’t believe I would make it to the end of Survivor without A) dying or B) getting kicked off because others would see me as a threat because of my superior game-play.

* I don’t believe I would make it to the end of The Amazing Race without A) dying or B) getting beat out in that final run to the check point at each leg of the race.

* I don’t believe redistributing the wealth is a bad thing. Well, maybe that’s not quite right. I don’t think we should take money away from those who have it, to give it to people who don’t but I think the rules (tax laws, mostly) should be changed so they don’t favor the “haves” more than the “have nots.”

* I don’t believe Alaska and Hawaii should have been granted statehood. It’s not that I don’t like them but, hey, they ain’t contiguous! And what’s wrong with having just 48 states anyway?

* I don’t believe I will ever understand the stock market.

* I don’t believe in Yetis or Sasquatches. (Sasquatchi?)

* I don’t believe Elvis is still alive.

* I don’t believe it when people say they went to Vegas and “broke even.” They are always lying just to make themselves feel better.

* I don’t believe Stairway to Heaven is a great song. Or even a good song.

* I don’t believe Knights in White Satin even qualifies as music.

* I don’t believe Steely Dan has ever made a bad album

* I don’t believe Clint Eastwood could make a really awful movie, even if he tried.

* I don’t believe that attending church every Sunday is the best way to get to know God.

* I don’t believe exercise is worth all the pain and suffering. (Obviously!)

* I don’t believe how messed up families can get.

* I don’t believe anyone is fully sane or fully crazy. We’re all along the continuum somewhere.

* I don’t believe eating seaweed will ever seem like a good idea to me but eating sushi always will.

* I don’t believe curling should be a sport OR that it makes any sense at all. That doesn’t mean I don’t love watching it.

* I don’t believe any sport is weirder than the biathlon. Skiing and shooting. Who came up with that idea?

* I don’t believe I was correct that no sport is weirder than the biathlon, because I just remembered “noodling.” Noodling is that weird method of catching catfish where you dive down in the water, shove your arm down the enormous throat of a catfish and wrestle it to the surface. That is the weirdest sport. Ever. Period. The End. Amen.

* I don’t believe I will ever look good with my shirt off.

* I don’t believe that even once in my life two women have ever looked at me, turned to each other and said, “He’s hot.”

* I don’t believe that future ex-wives, Erin Andrews, Evangeline Lilly, Amanda Peet, Lauren Graham or Diane Lane will ever even look at me, let alone say, “He’s hot.”

* I don’t believe I really care.

* I don’t believe Mother Teresa was perfect. I am almost certain she had a gambling addiction.

* I don’t believe I have any basis for saying that Mother Teresa had a gambling addiction.

* I don’t believe Star Trek is as good as Star Wars

* I don’t believe that when people say they “don’t believe in” something, that’s really what they mean to say. For example, to say, “I don’t believe in marriage” strictly speaking means that you don’t believe it exists – but marriage definitely exists. What you really mean to say is something like “I don’t believe marriage is worthwhile because eventually two people grow apart and then one of them decides to bail on the other and from that point it just gets really messy so the whole thing is just a waste of time.” (This bitter editorial comment brought to you by someone who believes marriage is the relationship equivalent of Chantix. Chantix: When you want to stop smoking but still want to do something that will probably kill you.)

Maybe It's Just Me . . .

Have you seen those commercials for Chantix, that stop smoking drug? Next time notice how much of the commercial is spent on the whole dang disclaimer! It's ridonkulous! Scared me so bad I don't ever wanna meet someone who's using it! Yeesh! I'm going from memory but here's what I think they say . . .

Some people have had changes in behavior, hostility, agitation, depressed mood, suicidal thoughts or actions while using CHANTIX to help them quit smoking. Some people had these symptoms when they began taking CHANTIX, and others developed them after several weeks of treatment or after stopping CHANTIX. If you, your family, or caregiver notice agitation, hostility, depression, or changes in behavior, thinking, or mood that are not typical for you, or you develop suicidal thoughts or actions, anxiety, panic, aggression, anger, mania, abnormal sensations, hallucinations, paranoia, or confusion, stop taking CHANTIX and call your doctor right away. Also tell your doctor about any history of depression or other mental health problems before taking CHANTIX, as these symptoms may worsen while taking CHANTIX. In clinical trials, the most common side effects of CHANTIX include: Nausea, sleep problems, constipation, gas and/or vomiting. These are not all the side effects of CHANTIX. Ask your doctor or pharmacist for more information on the possibility of projectile diarrhea, stigmata, uncontrolled Lambata dancing, spontaneous combustion or our personal favorite, the ability to remove the top of your skull because some otherworldly force has sliced it open and installed a hinge, for easy access. And we’re not just talking about side affects lasting more than four hours, like some other medications out there, we mean you should call your doctor right away after, oh say, the first time you kick your dog, put your kids in a closet or murder your neighbor. Or maybe just start smoking again because, after all, if smoking doesn’t kill you, CHANTIX will!

I'm A Believer

By now, you guys know pretty much everything there is to know about me. (I guess that just shows how shallow I am.) That fact sometimes makes it tough to come up with ideas for this blog.

Last night as I drifted off to sleep I thought, “Hey, since you’re just layin’ here anyway, what are you gonna write about on your blog, for Pete's sake?” Out of nowhere (or maybe somewhere outta Tulsa) came the thought, “Why don’t you tell them what you believe?” Ignoring the fact that apparently when I’m thinking, I ask myself questions, as if I am being interviewed, I thought, “Great idea Dude!” In this case the phrase “great idea” really means, “that’ll be easy” because once I had the idea this hummer just about wrote itself.

Before I plunge in, one mild disclaimer. They say the three things you should NEVER talk about in mixed company are politics, religion and sex. So, let’s start with those . . .

* I believe God exists. He (or she, if that works better for you) isn’t dead. He’s out there somewhere. Your mileage may vary.

* I believe it takes as much faith to NOT believe in God as it does to believe in God.

* I believe God wants to be known and wants to know us. As a pet owner, I’m amazed at how much I care about little old Rudy AND, weirdly, how much she seems to care about me. Every night when I come home, she jumps all over me as if she was worried I might not come back! I kinda think relationship has some parallels to my relationship with God.

* I believe God is not a cosmic killjoy. I understand what it means to fear God but I don’t think we need to be afraid of him. I think God laughs and plays. And that he would kick some serious butt on Jeopardy.

* I believe we’re all jerks but God loves us anyway. I know this is cynical but I am convinced we all have “stuff” in our lives that isn’t very pleasant. Things we’ve done or things we’ve thought about doing that we wouldn’t want anyone else to know about. Some of us are better at hiding it than others. Some of us are better at rising above all the stuff in our lives, but it’s still there and affects what we do every day.

* I believe LeBron James should be the Greatest Athlete of All-Time if for no other reason than that Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods have turned out to be such jerks. But God loves them anyway.

* I believe that people who complain about the date, location or logistics of a way cool party that you don’t have to pay a dime for because someone else is footing the bill for meals, music, lodging, fabulous gifts and prizes, etc., fit into the jerk category. Life is about choosing your priorities. If you want to be there and it works to attend – GREAT! If something else is more important, don’t go. But don’t complain. However, if you choose to complain anyway, God still loves you.

* I believe that almost everyone believes abortion should be legal and accessible. Where we differ is in terms of degree. Some believe abortion is appropriate when the mother’s life is in danger. Or in the case of rape or incest. Others believe it’s an appropriate alternative when the child is unwanted or would be too great a burden for the parents. Some believe its okay when parents want to ensure the gender of the child. There are very few people who believe abortion is always, without question, wrong. We just like to argue about where the line should be drawn.

* I believe it is inconsistent to be opposed to abortion and support capital punishment. Killing is either right or wrong.

* I believe killing is wrong.

* I believe I would kill anyone who tried to harm my family.

* I believe that would be wrong.

* I believe I would do it anyway.

* I believe John McCain could have been one of the greatest President’s in history. Not the watered down, vanilla John McCain that ran in 2008 but the fiery, passionate, decisive, plain-spoken John McCain from years past. Before his body was overtaken by aliens from the planet Skrull.

* I believe Barack Obama is the best President in my lifetime.

* I believe most of you don’t believe that.

* I believe “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is dumb. And wrong.

* I believe allowing same-sex marriage and/or same-sex parentage does not lead to the destruction or desecration of families. Heterosexuals have done a pretty good job of screwing up families all on their own.

* I believe the time and energy devoted to restricting same-sex relationships should be redirected to keeping couples and families together.

* I believe most people hold prejudices that make them at least a little bit bigoted.

* I believe we have found ways to talk about people of other ethnic backgrounds without appearing to be racists. Either through subtle uses of humor (DWA) or by not mentioning ethnicity in any specific way (Everyone should speak English!). It’s still racist. In my book anyway.

* I believe that making English the official and only language in the United States is wrong. We need to learn to communicate better and more effectively with each other – regardless of what our native language or the color of our skin might be. We don’t need to erect more barriers between people. Unless we think an eternal World War III sounds like fun.

* I believe that if we want to be truly committed about stopping illegal immigration, we all have to leave the United States immediately. None of our ancestors (unless you are a full blooded Native American) presented themselves to the original inhabitants of this continent with proper documentation that was accepted by the existing government, such as it may have been at the time. We just showed up and felt no permission was necessary.

* I believe the Beavers have a better football program than the Ducks.

* I believe Chip Kelly is the best coach in the Pac-10.

* I believe the best Cheetos are the fried / crunchy ones

* I believe there is no place in the universe for the baked / puffy Cheetos.

* I believe Brussels’ Sprouts are natures Anthrax.

* I believe The Beatles are the greatest musicians of the last century. Or maybe Miles Davis.

* I believe the best movie ever made is Schindler’s List.

* I believe Erin Andrews will probably never be my future ex-wife.

* I believe it’s probably best if no one is ever my future ex-wife.

I believe that none of you believe all these same things and that is part of what makes life so cool! We’re all so dang different! The fact that you may believe Obama is the worst President ever or that there is no God or that baked Cheetos are better than fried Cheetos is GREAT! I don’t have to hate you or kill you because you believe something different than me.

I believe it would be a good idea for us to talk about our beliefs once in a while. Out in the open. Not in secret, as if sharing our individual beliefs might somehow be dangerous or threatening!

I believe that, in the end, one of us may be right or one of us may be wrong OR (and this seems far more likely) both of us will be wrong. So, until we get to “the end” (whatever you believe that to be) I’m thinking we should enjoy the fact that we’re all different! And talk about it more.

But if you believe something different about Brussels’ Sprouts than I do – you’re wrong! Period. End of discussion. You're dead to me.