So, last week I was on vacation - hanging out with Carla and my kids. Here's a few highlights, in case you're interested. And if you are, how sad for you . . .
Wednesday Morning
Carla and I dropped by the office so she could meet some of my fabulous co-workers. My boss was her usual friendly and professional self, as was another co-worker, Jenny. Well, EXCEPT that Jenny seemed to be smirking the whole time, which had me very worried. Then we went out to a branch to meet Sue and Sandy, a couple of other co-workers. Sandy and Sue - but especially Sandy - crammed in as many warnings as they could get in while we were there. ("Did he tell you about the conditions of his parole?" "Has he done that thing yet where he talks to plants?" Has he introduced you to his imaginary friend?")
Wednesday Evening
We drove to Bend in the afternoon and went to see Jeremy's freshman basketball team play Summit High School. The coaching was superb but they lost. Probably my fault. Even cooler, Carla got to meet my ex-wife, Nancy! Can you spell "awwwwkward!" I sent a text message to Jake and Elizabeth saying, "Mom and Carla are talking to each other RIGHT NOW and they even hugged each other." Both of them left me hanging with the awkwardness. They are both out of the will now.
Thursday Afternoon
We went to see Jeremy's freshman basketball team play Bend High School. The coaching was superb but they lost. Probably my fault. Again.
Thursday Evening
After the game we had dinner in a private dining room at the Pronghorn Golf & Country Club with a few old friends of mine in Bend. I was on my best behavior, of course.
They served us an Amuse Bouche. That's French for: "Eat this cuz it's so small it'll make you laugh." It was a teeny, tiny tomato with some salmon mousse squirted inside and a stick of something green stuck on the top. It was sooooo small that I decided the best approach was just to lean over the plate and lick it up. Not everyone thought that was the best option.
And because this is largely a bunch of people I used to go to church with, we decided to pray before the meal. Well, they decided I should pray. It went something like this, "Lord, thanks for this food and being together with friends. Thank you for blessing our time together and thank you as well for our server who is coming in the room with our meals right now so I better stop praying so she doesn't have to feel any more awkward than she already does because it would be awkward if the clanked a plate or something and made us all open our eyes and stare at her when really we're the ones who are kinda doin' something weird by praying out loud in a country club because we all know God doesn't play golf anyway. Amen." (I am not making this up.)
During the meal we had a healthy discussion about one of my favorite ideas for building a better and stronger America. See if you agree. Don't you think it would be better if men's and women's rest-rooms were always on the same side? By that I mean, men's rooms on the left and women's rooms on the right. Or vice versa. That way you always know which way to turn. Sure, there's the words "Men" and "Women" on the doors or sometimes just the little stick figure people, but that's not always enough. I just know that there is a relatively large group of women out there who would appreciate it. And yes, I'm talking about women in public rest rooms who have had a fat, white guy from Eugene, Oregon, walk in on them accidentally. My friends weren't so sure about the idea, so I asked our server. I'm not sure but I think her blank stare meant that she didn't really care.
Friday:
We drove to Seattle and picked up Carla's daughter, Kristin, at the airport. That would have been the highlight of the day but then we drove out to my daughter's house. Carla and Kristin seemed to get along well with my daughter, Elizabeth and her husband, Jeremiah. We had dinner and then I promptly fell asleep during the movie, The Changeling.
Saturday:
We went wine tasting, which is kinda fun but I just think I'm just not snobby enough to be a wine lover. ("Kind of has a hint of vanilla and, oh, say, fermented baby diapers . . .")
Sunday Morning:
We drove down to Pike's Place Public Market (say that three times really fast) and hung out for a few hours. We went to the original Starbuck's store, watched guys throw fish around, had a littlebagofdonuts, ate an English crumpet with cheese, ham and pesto, and bought weird stuff from weird people, which made me feel less weird as a result.
Sunday Afternoon:
We drove to Portland so that my Mom and Dad could meet Carla. My sister and her husband dropped by as well. Things went swimmingly even though there was not a pool in sight. Thankfully my mother did not ask if Carla was a "nice little Mormon girl." On the other hand, my Dad has sent an email to the masses declaring that his son "Lucky Pierre" is soon to be married and that he and Mom recently got to meet his "wonderful bride to be." Dad and I have some things to clear up . . .
Those are the highlights. I'm sure you're sorry you asked.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The Open Table
I love the simplicity of this video. Real people talking about their experience with faith and God. It was created in support of Donald Miller's (Blue Like Jazz, Searching for God Knows What) latest project, The Open Table. You can find out more about the video on Don Miller's personal blog. (Which is a dang good read, by the way.)
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Twenty Five Things About Me
As a condition of my parole, I am not allowed to respond chain letter requests or every freakin' weird Facebook "tag" that comes my way. But after getting hit several times with the "25 Weird Things About Me" request, I decided to bite the bullet, get it over with and avoid whatever curse might come my way from not responding. So, at the risk of violating any TROs that might still be in force, I humbly submit:
25 Things About Me
25. I used to be able to say that I had never voted for a Republican for President. That was until 2004. I have no excuse except that I was under a terrible amount of stress that year. And John Kerry is a tool.
24. I love beer. I never get drunk but, man, do I love beer. But it has to be good beer, not wussy, watered down stuff that you can see through. I especially like Mac & Jack's, Black Butte Porter, Rogue Juniper Ale, The Abyss, Delirium Tremens, Leffe Brown, Rasputin Stout, to name a few.
23. I'm 54 years old and still read comic books.
22. I didn't need a GPS but now that I have one, I couldn't live without it.
21. I believe the iPhone is the greatest invention in the history of mankind.
20. Jesus loves you but I'm his favorite.
19. Tell all your friends, I'm Batman.
18. I once lived in the Oregon governor's mansion. Only for a couple of weeks and then they threw me out.
17. I have four brothers and three sisters. Two of my sisters are named Connie.
16. I hate Brussel Sprouts. I believe they were invented by Satan. I'm not very fond of Dimetapp either. This would make me very unpopular with my friend, Nancy Burton, except that we both like beer. Thankfully, I won't have to kill her now.
15. Someone I am in a relationship with thinks I may have an unnatural obsession with Barack Obama. So do my children.
14. Is there any sporting event cooler than the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament? I submit there is not. Except possibly the OSAA 5A/6A Boy's Basketball Tournament.
13. Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry is the greatest book ever written. Do not even try arguing with me about this.
12. I believe that outside of the employees of Worldwide Pants, no one has seen more episodes of The Late Show with David Letterman than me.
11. I love dogs - especially Rudy and Hank - but NOT those little, wussy, battery operated, pretend dogs that Paris Hilton and the Crawford's carry around.
10. This item deleted upon the advice of someone I am in a relationship with.
9. I would like to have the following songs played at my funeral: Why Does the Devil Get All The Good Music by Larry Norman, If I Had Possession of Judgment Day by Eric Clapton, Miss Otis Regrets by Ella Fitzgerald, All Blues by Miles Davis, Money for Nothing by Dire Straits, Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum and several others I cannot remember right now because I am painfully near death and my memory is fading.
8. My Momma can't dance and my Daddy can't rock and roll. And we're all better off for it.
7. If I could bring back ONE TV show that is no longer on the air it would definitely be St. Elsewhere. Or maybe Lou Grant. Or, oh wait, definitely this one - The West Wing. Or maybe Sports Night.
6. The best movie ever made is Schindler's List but my all time favorite movie is Casablanca.
5. I have Type 2 Diabetes. After several years of research I have learned that, when it comes to diet, I should only eat things I cannot stand (see #16 above). Any food or drink that I enjoy will, apparently, kill me immediately.
4. I have ADHD. I don't really notice now it affects my daily life, except when I forget to take my meds and then I notice that, uh, well, I can't remember but, anyway, I really think Lonesome Dove is the best book ever written.
3. As i write this, I have the hiccups but maybe it's because I'm a voodoo high priest. (Or at least that's what someone I am in a relationship with thinks anyway.)
2. I like road trips - especially cross country ones. Even when there's so much stuff crammed into the CRV that the passenger seat is pushed all the way forward for your drive from Bend to D.C. OR when your best friend no longer will go anywhere with you cuz the 16 hour drive from Bend to Vegas coupled with the 16 hours doing everything we could think of to do in Vegas and the 16 hour drive back, turned out to not be quite the adventure he thought it would be.
And the Number One Thing About Me . . .
I believe the most concise explanation of the Gospel I have ever heard is: We're all bastards but God loves us anyway!
And for those of you tagged me, I hope you're not sorry . . .
25 Things About Me
25. I used to be able to say that I had never voted for a Republican for President. That was until 2004. I have no excuse except that I was under a terrible amount of stress that year. And John Kerry is a tool.
24. I love beer. I never get drunk but, man, do I love beer. But it has to be good beer, not wussy, watered down stuff that you can see through. I especially like Mac & Jack's, Black Butte Porter, Rogue Juniper Ale, The Abyss, Delirium Tremens, Leffe Brown, Rasputin Stout, to name a few.
23. I'm 54 years old and still read comic books.
22. I didn't need a GPS but now that I have one, I couldn't live without it.
21. I believe the iPhone is the greatest invention in the history of mankind.
20. Jesus loves you but I'm his favorite.
19. Tell all your friends, I'm Batman.
18. I once lived in the Oregon governor's mansion. Only for a couple of weeks and then they threw me out.
17. I have four brothers and three sisters. Two of my sisters are named Connie.
16. I hate Brussel Sprouts. I believe they were invented by Satan. I'm not very fond of Dimetapp either. This would make me very unpopular with my friend, Nancy Burton, except that we both like beer. Thankfully, I won't have to kill her now.
15. Someone I am in a relationship with thinks I may have an unnatural obsession with Barack Obama. So do my children.
14. Is there any sporting event cooler than the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament? I submit there is not. Except possibly the OSAA 5A/6A Boy's Basketball Tournament.
13. Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry is the greatest book ever written. Do not even try arguing with me about this.
12. I believe that outside of the employees of Worldwide Pants, no one has seen more episodes of The Late Show with David Letterman than me.
11. I love dogs - especially Rudy and Hank - but NOT those little, wussy, battery operated, pretend dogs that Paris Hilton and the Crawford's carry around.
10. This item deleted upon the advice of someone I am in a relationship with.
9. I would like to have the following songs played at my funeral: Why Does the Devil Get All The Good Music by Larry Norman, If I Had Possession of Judgment Day by Eric Clapton, Miss Otis Regrets by Ella Fitzgerald, All Blues by Miles Davis, Money for Nothing by Dire Straits, Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum and several others I cannot remember right now because I am painfully near death and my memory is fading.
8. My Momma can't dance and my Daddy can't rock and roll. And we're all better off for it.
7. If I could bring back ONE TV show that is no longer on the air it would definitely be St. Elsewhere. Or maybe Lou Grant. Or, oh wait, definitely this one - The West Wing. Or maybe Sports Night.
6. The best movie ever made is Schindler's List but my all time favorite movie is Casablanca.
5. I have Type 2 Diabetes. After several years of research I have learned that, when it comes to diet, I should only eat things I cannot stand (see #16 above). Any food or drink that I enjoy will, apparently, kill me immediately.
4. I have ADHD. I don't really notice now it affects my daily life, except when I forget to take my meds and then I notice that, uh, well, I can't remember but, anyway, I really think Lonesome Dove is the best book ever written.
3. As i write this, I have the hiccups but maybe it's because I'm a voodoo high priest. (Or at least that's what someone I am in a relationship with thinks anyway.)
2. I like road trips - especially cross country ones. Even when there's so much stuff crammed into the CRV that the passenger seat is pushed all the way forward for your drive from Bend to D.C. OR when your best friend no longer will go anywhere with you cuz the 16 hour drive from Bend to Vegas coupled with the 16 hours doing everything we could think of to do in Vegas and the 16 hour drive back, turned out to not be quite the adventure he thought it would be.
And the Number One Thing About Me . . .
I believe the most concise explanation of the Gospel I have ever heard is: We're all bastards but God loves us anyway!
And for those of you tagged me, I hope you're not sorry . . .
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