Friday, July 24, 2009

Things I Will Never Understand

I am someone who questions LOTS of things. As I’ve gotten older (and yes, you can probably read into this “more senile”) I have begun to realize that some questions just don’t have an answer. Or, at least an answer that makes sense to me anyway. Apparently these are things I will just never understand. Such as:

* Why do stock prices goes up when I think it should go down and vice versa.

* Why my Dad, an intelligent man, automatically believes everything he receives in an email, as long as it agrees with his worldview.

* Why my Dad, an intelligent man, automatically disagrees with everything I send him in an email, if it doesn’t agree with his worldview.

* People who eat beets.

* Why does a week of work last a full, long, five days BUT a week of vacation seems to only last about a day and a half?

* People who root for the Ducks

* People who don’t root for the Oregon State Beavers!

* Why my checking account NEVER has enough money in it.

* Cigarettes? Sure, I like a cigar or my pipe every once in a while. But cigarettes? How does anyone think that’s even remotely cool or fun?

* Ballet

* People who think Jay Leno is funny. He has never once made me laugh.

* People who don’t think David Letterman is funny.

* The mystery of financial reporting. I swear those people are just making it up as they go along.

* Vodka. Vodka’s motto should be: Makes anything taste really bad!

* People who don’t want kids but have them anyway. Usually by accident. Seems like there should be an easy way to turn that switch off.

* People who want kids but shouldn’t have them. Seems like there should be an easy way to turn that switch off.

* Dick Cheney

* God.

* Snakes. They serve no purpose and you can’t convince me otherwise.

* Paris Hilton. She serves no purpose and you can’t convince me otherwise.

* Believing abortion is wrong but capital punishment is okay.

* Believing capital punishment is wrong but abortion is okay.

* Why women (and especially young girls) LOVE vampires – and in a way that seems just a little bit sleazy.

* And, of course, women in general.
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