Friday, May 15, 2009

Trading Places

On the planet where I come from, it is sometimes fun to think about weird stuff like:

If I could be any cartoon character, living or dead, who would it be?
or,
If Barbara Walters interviewed me, what kind of tree would I want to be?
Or,
A man walks into a bank to cash his check. By mistake the teller gives him his dollar amount in change, and his change amount in dollars. On the way home he spends a nickel, and now notices he has 2 times the amount of his check. How much was the check?
OR,
If I was cast in The Real World – Cancun next season, how long would it take before I was thrown off for exceeding both the maximum age and maximum weight limits (within five minutes)?

But those will have to wait for another time because I have four other fantasy questions to think about today!

Real People I Would Love To Trade Places With For At Least One Day
 Barack Obama - POTUS
 David Letterman - Host, The Late Show
 Peter – Fisherman, Apostle, Troublemaker
 Brian Williams - Anchor, NBC News
 Dhani Jones - Linebacker, Cincinnati Bengals and host of Dhani Tackles The Globe
 Anthony Bourdain - Chef, Author and host of No Reservations
 Jacoby Ellsbury - Outfielder, Boston Red Sox (Especially on the day he stole home)
 Eric Clapton / Ben Harper / John Butler / John Mayer (Or most any other great guitarist)
 Erin Andrews - Reporter, ESPN (Okay, maybe not Erin exactly but her producer or body guard – anyone who gets to regularly hang out with my former, future ex-wife.)

Fictional Characters I Would Love To Trade Places With For At Least One Day
 Bond, James Bond - Spy, British Secret Service
 Han Solo - Mercenary, Smuggler, Pirate and Owner, Millennium Falcon
 Gus McCrae - Cowboy, Entrepreneur, Philosopher, Former Texas Ranger in Lonesome Dove
 John Rebus – Detective Inspector, Edinburgh Scotland Police in Ian Rankin Novels
 Atticus Finch - Attorney, Father in To Kill A Mockingbird
 Biff – Friend of Jesus in Lamb: The Gospel According To Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal
 Frodo Baggins - Ringbearer, world traveler
 Bruce Wayne – Billionaire Industrialist, Batman
 John Locke - Leader, LOST

Real People I Would NOT Trade Places With For Even One Day
 Bernie Maddow - Scam artist, total lowlife, prison boyfriend
 Michael Phelps - Eight Time Olympic Gold Medalist, scrutinized by everyone for everything he has ever done
 Dick Cheney – Self-proclaimed enhanced interrogation expert, unconvicted felon
 Rush Limbaugh - Pompous windbag
 George Steinbrenner - Tax cheat, corporate socialist and owner, New York Yankees)
 Al Davis - Owner / Meddler, Oakland Raiders

Fictional Characters I Would NOT Trade Places With For Even One Day Jar Jar Binks - Gungan, Galactic Senator, wacky linguist
 Gollum - Ring thief, ring loser, hard swallower
 Dexter – Forensic Blood Spatter Specialist with Miami Police Department, serial killer
 Spencer Pratt - Fictional boyfriend / husband of Heidi Montag, The Hills
 Benjamin Linus - Former leader, LOST
 Moby Dick – whale, Moby Dick
Post a Comment