Late Night with David Letterman's Top Ten Things Heard Outside The New Mel Gibson Movie
10. "Hey -- no shoving, Monsignor!"
9. "I don't know why they added subtitles -- everyone speaks Aramaic"
8. "I'm hoping my medium Mountain Dew will miraculously be changed into an extra large Mountain Dew"
7. "These 'Lord of the Ring' films are getting odder and odder"
6. "Was this really based on a book?"
5. "Twelve dollars for a movie ticket? Now that's a sin, am I right, people?"
4. "The Pope loved it almost as much as "Barber Shop 2'"
3. "Uh...I don't feel like dinner right now."
2. "That was awesome when Trump fired Pontius Pilate"
1. "Don't tell me the ending"

Indulgences Revisited!
Getting into heaven has never been easier! At least according to the fine folks at BuyIntoHeaven.com. As they point out, "It's a fact of life that good people sometimes do bad things. We're only human after all. Most of us try to live a good and decent life, but end up falling a little short. In these uncertain times, we all seek a little peace of mind."

They Call Them 'Boobs" for A Reason!
First, I want to point out that I never read the tabloids but if I did, Weekly World News would be my favorite. Second, I came across this article while checking in on one of my favorite sites, Holy Weblog. But, that's irrelevant. The important thing here is that Janet Jackson's unfortunate "wardrobe malfunction" has apparently resulted in a miraculous healing. Not that I believe a word of it, however . . .

Strawberry Fields Forever - or at least until the next arrest . . .
According to ESPN, Darryl Strawberry "resigned as a player development instructor with the New York Yankees on Wednesday to spend more time with church-related activities." You gotta hope for the best for the guy but his track record ain't that great. Here's the story . . .

Passionate
I just got back from The Passion of the Christ. It's gonna take me a while to sort out how I feel about it but here are a few thoughts . . .

1. It blew me away. When it was over I couldn't move. In fact, most of the audience couldn't either. Those who know me know that I stay through the credits of every movie I see. Usually that means I'm the last one out of the theater. Tonight only a few people left before the end of the credits. That tells you something about the impact of this movie. And not many people were talking when they walked out of the theater.

2. It was needlessly violent. While I understand why Mel Gibson made this movie as explicit as he did, I can't help but think he went one or two steps too far.

3. Probably the best film about Jesus ever. But that's probably not saying much since I really can't think of a film about Jesus that left much of an impression - before now anyway.

4. Some parents are idiots. Why there were so many kids under the age of 13 at this movie - and more than a few younger than 10 - is beyond me. It was extremely violent and more than a few scenes are designed to scare the crud out of you. That's probably why some of those same parents left - with their kids - part way into the movie. The other idiot parents stayed.
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"You know, if I was Billy Graham, I'd have preached. If I was Jackson Pollock, I'd have painted. But I have one good trick: that's filmmaking, and that's how I express myself. This [movie] is my meditation."
Mel Gibson in USA Today
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"A monkey has a better chance of typing the Gettysburg Address than Jesus has of not being the Messiah."
Mel Gibson

By The Way, Whatever Happened To Preperations A - G?
You know, when I first heard that Johnny Cash's family was upset when they heard hit song "Ring of Fire" might be used for a Preparation H commercial, I thought it was just another bizarre Web rumor. But, according to this article in the Tennessean, it's true! And thankfully, they put a stop to it! (And you can thank me later for the helpful link to the Preparation H Website!)

I Hate To Say This But I Knew It All The Time!
Those darn Left Behind books have everyone speculating about who that antichrist might be. Here's a link to the answer - and the proof!

We're Talking About Some Righteous Blues, Baby
Johnny Lang appeared on the music scene a few years back and amazed just about everyone with his amazing blues guitar work and a voice that sounded much older than his 17 years. Now married and 23, Lang's music not only remains firmly rooted in the blues but also is more firmly rooted in his faith. Check out this interview available from Thunderstruck.

I Think I'm Pointed To The Southwest
My daughter, Elizabeth, sent me a link to the Political Compass. Rather than being an indicator of how far on the left or right you may be, " it's simply a measure of attitudes and inevitable human contradictions to provide a more integrated definition of where people and parties are really at. " Okay, that is probably just a little too intellectual for me - considering I barely understood what they were saying. Nevertheless, you'll find the results interesting.

My results put me in the same ballpark with Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and the Dalai Lama. AND my preferred presidential candidates would be Al Sharpton and Dennis Kucinich. That's the second time one of these crazy things has matched me with Al Sharpton. Something must be wrong. There's no way I'd vote for that nutball!

So, Uh, What Would Jesus Drive?
A woman in Virginia claims that God told her to go to a car lot to get a free car. And she is a woman of conviction as well, saying, "To take a stand that I feel that God is telling me to take, I have to accept whatever comes from that.'' Check out the entire story here from the Northern Virginia Journal.

Did You Hear The One About . . .
. . . the American Airlines pilot who asked Christian passengers to raise their hands? And guess why he did it? Check out this exclusive interview in The Advocate (yes, THE Advocate) with the Pilot Proselytizer!

In Light of My Obvious Support of Al Sharpton, I Think I'll Have to Pass!
For those of you who know me even a little bit, you may be surprised to learn that a friend of mine called to ask if I would like to help with the President's re-election bid in Deschutes County. Seeing as how I have never voted for a Republican for president (going all the way back to 1972), I think the odds are not good that I'll be voting for President Bush, let alone campaign for him!

Ahhh Hell . . .
According to a story in the Boston Globe, "a second-grade girl from Pittsburgh was suspended this week from her public elementary school for saying the word "hell" to a boy in her class." I probably coulda been sent home from work five or six times last week alone . . .

Uh, I Don't Think So . . .
So, you still need more help deciding which candidate is right for you? Well here's another one of those presidential selectors for ya. It's called President Match and, truth be told, I don't think this one is as good as Select A Candidate. But maybe that's just because the results of this one seemed to match me 100% with, uh, Al Sharpton . . .

Pretty Cheesy
Just when you think you've seen it all (and after this year's Super Bowl, I'm pretty sure we have) along comes this fine offering from the folks at Cheesus Industries.