Three Things . . .

For those of you who have been worrying about the dilemma involving me and the way cool butane torch lighter my son, Jake, got me as a groomsman’s gift for his wedding, here’s an update:

1. I checked online and found it for under $50. So I decided if I could have it shipped for less than that, it’d be worth it. I’d still rather have the original, since Jake gave it to me as a gift.

2. I contacted FedEx’s Critical Care department. They are able to ship “hazardous materials” and said they have the capability to handle a butane lighter in a manner that would ensure a potential disaster could be averted. (Because the last thing we need now is another lethal spill of a toxic substance in our waterways.) The cost for transporting an object of less than one pound from Kalispell, MT, to Eugene, OR, is only (drumroll, please): $1,759.

3. After talking with FedEx, I called Megan back at the UPS office in Kalispell. I told her about the FedEx quote but said I really wanted to be able to get back this gift from my son, so I was still exploring alternatives. She assured me she would hang onto it for as long as I needed. A few minutes later, she called me back and said she had talked to her supervisor who gave her permission to drain the lighter of butane so that it could be shipped to me without having to treat it as a hazardous material! I thanked her profusely, asked her to marry me, she said no and we hung up. The lighter is on its way!