Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Three Things . . .

Three Things . . .

1. Last week, while staying in a gorgeous home we rented in Kalispell, MT, for my son's wedding, I opened a bottle of Alberston's brand tonic water. I had forgotten that EVERY TIME I open a bottle of Alberston's brand tonic water it ALWAYS sprays all over the place. I swear I didn't shake the stuff at all but, true to form, a geyser erupted. Trying to screw the lid back on just seems to make the spray all that more forceful. So, with that in mind, what made those bozos at Halliburton think they could just put a cap on that oil leak?

2. And didn't you love the Senate inquiry into the oil spill yesterday? BP: "It wasn't our fault! We just own the rig. TransOcean is in charge of the operation." TransOcean: "Nuh, uh! Not us! It's Halliburton's employees who run the thing that screwed up!" Halliburton: "What?!? No way! We're just doing what BP and TransOcean told us to do!" The winning entry goes to Halliburton who went for the "two for one" blame approach.

3. Speaking of Things That Did Not Go Well - I didn't watch last night's Cavs / Celtics game but is it true that Lebron just kinda sat this one out? In the meantime, did future ex-wife, Erin Andrews made some kind of move on "Dancing with the Oh My Gosh, Did The Wrong Team Win on This Season's Amazing Race, Or What, uh, Stars" that has lots of people talking and would probably have me taking a cold shower if I had seen it?

Okay. One more thing . . .

From the "This Just In From The Grassy Knoll" Department:
While I was out of the country (Montana is part of Canada, right?) the stock market did some kind of weird glitchy thing one day where it completely collapsed and then jumped back to normal - all within a relatively few minutes. One of the many (conspiracy) theories is that someone accidentally plugged in one BILLION when they meant to plug in one MILLION. Just a silly typo but I'm not sure I believe it. In fact, I don't believe it. And here's the best explanation of why I don't believe it. It comes from Tina Fey on last Saturday's episode of Saturday Night Live:

"One guy can do a billion dollar transaction and a manager doesn't have to approve it? If I try to pay with a 50 at Starbucks, it turns into a four man operation."

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