I'm A Believer

By now, you guys know pretty much everything there is to know about me. (I guess that just shows how shallow I am.) That fact sometimes makes it tough to come up with ideas for this blog.

Last night as I drifted off to sleep I thought, “Hey, since you’re just layin’ here anyway, what are you gonna write about on your blog, for Pete's sake?” Out of nowhere (or maybe somewhere outta Tulsa) came the thought, “Why don’t you tell them what you believe?” Ignoring the fact that apparently when I’m thinking, I ask myself questions, as if I am being interviewed, I thought, “Great idea Dude!” In this case the phrase “great idea” really means, “that’ll be easy” because once I had the idea this hummer just about wrote itself.

Before I plunge in, one mild disclaimer. They say the three things you should NEVER talk about in mixed company are politics, religion and sex. So, let’s start with those . . .

* I believe God exists. He (or she, if that works better for you) isn’t dead. He’s out there somewhere. Your mileage may vary.

* I believe it takes as much faith to NOT believe in God as it does to believe in God.

* I believe God wants to be known and wants to know us. As a pet owner, I’m amazed at how much I care about little old Rudy AND, weirdly, how much she seems to care about me. Every night when I come home, she jumps all over me as if she was worried I might not come back! I kinda think relationship has some parallels to my relationship with God.

* I believe God is not a cosmic killjoy. I understand what it means to fear God but I don’t think we need to be afraid of him. I think God laughs and plays. And that he would kick some serious butt on Jeopardy.

* I believe we’re all jerks but God loves us anyway. I know this is cynical but I am convinced we all have “stuff” in our lives that isn’t very pleasant. Things we’ve done or things we’ve thought about doing that we wouldn’t want anyone else to know about. Some of us are better at hiding it than others. Some of us are better at rising above all the stuff in our lives, but it’s still there and affects what we do every day.

* I believe LeBron James should be the Greatest Athlete of All-Time if for no other reason than that Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods have turned out to be such jerks. But God loves them anyway.

* I believe that people who complain about the date, location or logistics of a way cool party that you don’t have to pay a dime for because someone else is footing the bill for meals, music, lodging, fabulous gifts and prizes, etc., fit into the jerk category. Life is about choosing your priorities. If you want to be there and it works to attend – GREAT! If something else is more important, don’t go. But don’t complain. However, if you choose to complain anyway, God still loves you.

* I believe that almost everyone believes abortion should be legal and accessible. Where we differ is in terms of degree. Some believe abortion is appropriate when the mother’s life is in danger. Or in the case of rape or incest. Others believe it’s an appropriate alternative when the child is unwanted or would be too great a burden for the parents. Some believe its okay when parents want to ensure the gender of the child. There are very few people who believe abortion is always, without question, wrong. We just like to argue about where the line should be drawn.

* I believe it is inconsistent to be opposed to abortion and support capital punishment. Killing is either right or wrong.

* I believe killing is wrong.

* I believe I would kill anyone who tried to harm my family.

* I believe that would be wrong.

* I believe I would do it anyway.

* I believe John McCain could have been one of the greatest President’s in history. Not the watered down, vanilla John McCain that ran in 2008 but the fiery, passionate, decisive, plain-spoken John McCain from years past. Before his body was overtaken by aliens from the planet Skrull.

* I believe Barack Obama is the best President in my lifetime.

* I believe most of you don’t believe that.

* I believe “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is dumb. And wrong.

* I believe allowing same-sex marriage and/or same-sex parentage does not lead to the destruction or desecration of families. Heterosexuals have done a pretty good job of screwing up families all on their own.

* I believe the time and energy devoted to restricting same-sex relationships should be redirected to keeping couples and families together.

* I believe most people hold prejudices that make them at least a little bit bigoted.

* I believe we have found ways to talk about people of other ethnic backgrounds without appearing to be racists. Either through subtle uses of humor (DWA) or by not mentioning ethnicity in any specific way (Everyone should speak English!). It’s still racist. In my book anyway.

* I believe that making English the official and only language in the United States is wrong. We need to learn to communicate better and more effectively with each other – regardless of what our native language or the color of our skin might be. We don’t need to erect more barriers between people. Unless we think an eternal World War III sounds like fun.

* I believe that if we want to be truly committed about stopping illegal immigration, we all have to leave the United States immediately. None of our ancestors (unless you are a full blooded Native American) presented themselves to the original inhabitants of this continent with proper documentation that was accepted by the existing government, such as it may have been at the time. We just showed up and felt no permission was necessary.

* I believe the Beavers have a better football program than the Ducks.

* I believe Chip Kelly is the best coach in the Pac-10.

* I believe the best Cheetos are the fried / crunchy ones

* I believe there is no place in the universe for the baked / puffy Cheetos.

* I believe Brussels’ Sprouts are natures Anthrax.

* I believe The Beatles are the greatest musicians of the last century. Or maybe Miles Davis.

* I believe the best movie ever made is Schindler’s List.

* I believe Erin Andrews will probably never be my future ex-wife.

* I believe it’s probably best if no one is ever my future ex-wife.

I believe that none of you believe all these same things and that is part of what makes life so cool! We’re all so dang different! The fact that you may believe Obama is the worst President ever or that there is no God or that baked Cheetos are better than fried Cheetos is GREAT! I don’t have to hate you or kill you because you believe something different than me.

I believe it would be a good idea for us to talk about our beliefs once in a while. Out in the open. Not in secret, as if sharing our individual beliefs might somehow be dangerous or threatening!

I believe that, in the end, one of us may be right or one of us may be wrong OR (and this seems far more likely) both of us will be wrong. So, until we get to “the end” (whatever you believe that to be) I’m thinking we should enjoy the fact that we’re all different! And talk about it more.

But if you believe something different about Brussels’ Sprouts than I do – you’re wrong! Period. End of discussion. You're dead to me.