After rambling on and on about some of my favorite movies last week, I came across a website that has a very simple formula for movie reviews. Here’s what they say about their approach:
"Who has time to read all those boring movie reviews with 'opinions?' Don’t you just want to know what the movie is all about—will you like it? For instance, Public Enemies is all about guns; now if you happen to like that sort of thing, well you get the idea…"
And here are a few examples of reviews you’ll find on that site:
* If you like The Golden Girls, then you will like Fried Green Tomatoes.
* If you like hair plugs, then you will like National Treasure.
* If you like Zach Braff’s self-indulgence, then you will like Garden State.
That got me to thinking about how I could simplify my reviews and came up with:
The Three Word Movie Review!
* All The President’s Men: Nixon’s. The. One.
* Batman - The Dark Night: Creepy. Bad. Make-up.
* Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid: Rob. Trains. Die.
* Casablanca: Get. Outta. Town.
* Chinatown: Sister. Daughter. Same.
* Cool Hand Luke: Failure. To. Communicate.
* Dirty Harry: Feel. Lucky. Punk?
* Forrest Gump: Peas. Carrots. Chocolates.
* Forty Year Old Virgin: My. Life. Story.
* Gone With The Wind: Scarlet. Spoiled. Brat.
* Iron Man: Flying. Robot. Guy.
* It’s A Wonderful Life: Angels. Get. Wings.
* Jaws: Need. Bigger. Boat.
* Lawrence of Arabia: Sand. More. Sand.
* Million Dollar Baby: Gut. Wrenching. Punch.
* Psycho: Don’t. Shower. Alone.
* Pulp Fiction: What’s. In. Briefcase?
* Raiders of the Lost Ark: Don’t. Open. It!
* Schindler’s List: Black. White. Red.
* Singin’ In The Rain: Sing. Dance. Repeat.
* Sophie’s Choice: Boy. Girl. Choose.
* Spiderman: Radioactive. Spiders. Rule.
* Star Wars – A New Hope: Luke. No. Father.
* Star Wars – Empire Strikes Back: I’m. Your. Father.
* Star Wars – Return of the Jedi: Father. Knows. Best.
* Superbad: Kids. Cops. Intoxicants.
* Terminator: Just. Keeps. Coming.
* That Thing You Do: One. Hit. Oneder
* The French Connection: Drives. Too. Fast.
* The Godfather: Offer. Can’t Refuse.
* The Hangover: Bachelor. Party. Hell.
* The Sixth Sense: Bruce. Willis. Dead.
* The Sound of Music: Nuns. Kids. Nazis.
* The Usual Suspects: Saw. It. Coming.
* There Will Be Blood: Oil. Blood. Milkshakes.
* Titanic: Watch. Out! Iceberg!
* Transformers: Megan. Fox. Toys.
* Transformers 2: Megan. Fox. Vertigo.
* West Side Story: Romeo. Juliet. Songs.
* Wizard of Oz: He’s. Behind. Curtain.
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