Wednesday, August 24, 2005


Who Would Jesus Assasinate? As you've probably heard, Pat "I'm Not A Pastor, I Just Play One On TV" Robertson, told his viewers yesterday that he thinks the U.S. government should bump off Venezuelan president, Hugo Chavez. Although Pat is (as usual) claiming he's been misquoted, you can read the transcript and see the clip at MediaMatters.

I have just a couple of questions for Mr. Robertson:

1. The "doctrine of assassination" you referred to - exactly where in the Bible did you find that particular theological tidbit?

2. What part of "Thou Shalt Not Kill" do you not understand?

3. Somehow you made it through your whole little rant without your usual smirky grin. How many seconds after the cameras cut away, did it take before you burst into a big "I'm So Proud Of Myself" smile?

4. Let's see if I've got this straight. Dictators in Venezuela = Bad. Dictators in Liberia = Good.

5. Is it a coincidence you look like Howdy Doody? I don't think so!

Pat, to paraphrase Bon Jovi (whose theology has got to be better than yours!), "you give God a bad name." I know Disney is contractually liable to keep you on TV until Jesus returns but I would pay them a dollar if they could just find some way to cancel you - with extreme prejudice.

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